A & R (Part-19: The Brutal Love-1)


After a short while, Ritvik planned a way to get rid of these disturbing acts and save himself from Rizwan’s foul play with him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, stood up and said, “Excuse me ! I remembered I had to make an urgent call.”, and quickly moved to get out of the apartment. It was a surprise act by him, and before anyone could understand what happened, he was in the isle trying to move out of room.

Rizwan, Aditya and Arnav all were stunned and could not decide what to do. When they came back to their senses, Aditya said, “You need not to go outside, I can mute the loud music for you to make your call from this room itself”. In the mean time when they were searching for remote control to mute the loud music, Ritvik had already unlocked the door. Ritvik deliberately ignored him as if he could not hear his suggestion and moved out of the apartment quickly.  After all he was looking for an escape.

After coming out of the apartment, he closed the door, and took a deep breath to calm down. He was still unable to decide what to do. He wanted to leave immediately, but he was worried that when Aniket would come back, he might get disappointed not seeing him around when he specially requested his presence here. That’s too all because of his fears and assumptions about Rizwan, which could be wrong. It was a very small thing that Aniket had asked to him, and Ritvik was feeling obliged to fulfill his first ever request. He did not want to fail to fulfill his expectation and this friendly request. He was confused and was thinking of calling Aniket while holding his mobile in his hand outside the room. Suddenly the door popped open and he noticed Aditya coming to him.

“Did you finish your call?”, asked Aditya. He knew it could not finish in just couple of moments but he had to initiate the talks.

“Naah !… the number is un-reachable. I will try again later”, replied Ritvik.

“Well… we have silenced the music for you. You need not to wait outside. You can come back in and try again.”, added Aditya.  Rizwan and his friends probably did not like to leave Ritvik alone or let him go out of their sight.   After a moment, Aditya took Ritvik’s hand in his hand, and pulled him along, saying “Let’s go!”. Ritvik had no options left. This time, probably in a hurry to take Ritvik back inside the apartment, he did not bother to lock the door.

“I brought our guest back !”, Aditya smirked looking at Rizwan with a wide smile on his face.  He was looking happy as if he conquered the world, as if he turned the lost game into a winning one. He looked back at Ritvik and said, “Please feel free to make your calls. We will resume the music only after you are done.”.

Ritvik replied, “It’s okay. The call could not go through. The number was switched off. You may resume the music.”

He did not want to be a reason to interrupt anyone’s enjoyment. He added, “I am sorry, you had to interrupt it all because of me.” Ritvik’s Physical Charm was a primary attraction but his politeness and down-to-earth attitude was noticed by all. Arnav started liking Ritvik more and more with every minute spent in his company and it was reflecting well through his behavior.

This time Ritvik wanted to sit at a distance from Rizwan but as soon as he wanted to sit, Arnav objected, “Why are you sitting so far away? Don’t worry.. we are not cannibals. Come on … join us… or do you want us to come there and bring all these snacks there?”

Ritvik moved reluctantly close to Arnav.  Arnav and Rizwan were sitting together with the gap for one person in between them, assuming Ritvik to sit in between them, but Ritvik decided to sit on the rear end, close to Arnav, out of reach of Rizwan this time.

“So,…for how long you two have been together?”, Arnav asked moving the plate kept in front of him on the table filled with roasted salted cashews to Ritvik. Ritvik found this question inappropriate and objected, “Excuse me ?”

“Oh ! Sorry !!.. No offence, I was just asking since when you two know each other?”, realizing his mistake, he clarified his thoughts. He did not want to risk again to spoil his mood and they knew that he was already looking uninterested in staying there any longer. “I just wanted to carry on some random conversation to keep you engaged till the time your friend joins us”, he added and patted on his thigh with a smile, but quickly removed his hand.

They kept talking on various topics covering movies, office gossips, about Aniket, politics, India’s future etc.. As a result, Ritvik found Arnav much more friendlier and doubted him less with suspicion. He had no reason to doubt this friendly person. People who speak less are more prone to hide things and seen with suspicion, but one who talk enough, usually don’t tend to hide. There were other reasons too. Unlike Rizwan, he quickly removed his hand after a quick pat on his thigh. He was not looking like a sex-freak to him. He was intelligent, funny and talking more of general things to make the atmosphere light and entertaining. He was sensitive to notice that Ritvik was not feeling comfortable here in absence of Aniket and that’s why he was trying to entertain Ritvik till his friend Aniket joins them. That was so thoughtful of him. All of this helped to create a positive image of Arnav in Ritvik’s mind.

Suddenly Rizwan asked Aditya who was still in the kitchen, perhaps preparing some Sandwiches, to start the music again. He also insisted to raise the volume to the same louder levels to make it feel lively. When Rizwan asked for loud music, Arnav looked at Rizwan, and they decided something silently. They communicated through hints understood only by the both of them. After a short while, Arnav moved down on the floor in front of Ritvik saying “I feel more comfortable sitting like this on the floor”, and kept his arms crossed and rested it on Ritvik’s knees. He was smiling. By this time there already existed a little bit of understanding between Arnav and Ritvik which made him feel comfortable with it. Ritvik did not react. It was a friendly gesture, like Aniket, his roommate, used to do it with him most of the time.

After a couple of minutes, Arnav asked Ritvik, “Why don’t you put your feet comfortably ?” and pulled his legs to engulf his feet in between grip of his legs. This made Ritvik captive indirectly and under total control of Arnav. Arnav also felt excited and happy embracing Ritvik’s legs and holding his feet in his grip. His excitement was evident from his energetic tone and from his special way of looking at Ritvik.

“Have you had sex earlier?”, Rizwan moved close to Ritvik and put a direct question to him.  Without waiting for any answer, Rizwan now directly hushed the things. He was unable to control it any longer. He added, “I mean, look at you baby! your pink lips…” and quickly leaned forward and kissed on his lips. Ritvik felt Rizwan’s lips on his lips before he could understand anything.

kiss-4

At this moment, Aditya also joined them carrying sandwiches he prepared for all of them and sat next to Ritvik. Ritvik was now again in the same situation, even worse. He was surrounded by all the three blocking him from all the sides. He was in between Aditya, and Rizwan on his sides, and Arnav in front of him, holding him by his feet.

Surprised and shocked Ritvik tried to get up but he was pulled back by Aditya and Rizwan both who were holding him tightly from either side. Next he felt Rizwan’s index finger running over his lips. “You cannot be a virgin, I bet !”, Rizwan continued smelling Ritvik from his neck to his shoulder. “Let’s find out !”, he whispered in his ear.

Ritvik’s all attempts and his resistance went futile. He could not do anything against the three of them. His eyes got watery. His fear was turning into reality. He pleaded, “please let me go.. leave me alone”, but no one paid any attention to his requests.

“Look at you !… “,  Rizwan unbuttoned his top button of shirt and inserted his hand inside, massaged his chest, and then squeezed his nipple. Rizwan got super horny with mere touch of super soft skin and smooth body of Ritvik. It was an electrifying experience. There was something special with him. He was unusally attractive and charming. Ritvik’s right arm was stuck between sofa wall and Rizwan’s back, and other hand was tightly held in Aditya’s hand who was licking his neck from the other side and moving towards his lips.

“You are the Beauty, and I am the Beast !”, Rizwan continued without paying any attention to what Ritvik was blabbering. Ritvik’s voice was trembling with fear, words were not coming out clear now. He tried shouting for help but loud music suppressed his voice. It was quite risky to let him shout like this, so Aditya gagged his mouth to turn him silent and took his shirt off forcibly.  It was an enormous divine beauty in front of them.  Every inch of his body was mesmerizing and appealing to get it, feel it, taste it. Aditya could not control himself and started squeezing his nipples and exploring his chest with his hands while licking his neck. He embraced Ritvik in his arms as he held a captive trying to escape.

nipps

Suddenly Ritvik’s attention moved down when he felt Arnav’s hands moving up his thighs. Arnav was moving his hands from knees to upper thighs, and up to his hips. Suddenly Arnav applied force to part away both his legs to make some space in between. He then gave a squeeze to his penis and balls, and added, “Yeah… ! Beauty with Brains…” to the compliment given by Rizwan and gave one more squeeze to his penis. “See his package, it is so big… my God !” Arnav exclaimed in excitement after feeling Ritvik’s bulge in his hands, and then leaned forward to smell his penis and started pressing it with his mouth probably trying to kiss there. He also attempted to take it in his mouth but failed because of trouser’s zipper but Ritvik could easily feel what all was being attempted on his crotch. In a couple of more thrusts by Arnav’s mouth, and massaging of his balls with his hands and mouth interchangeably, Ritvik’s limp Penis started getting semi-hard. The irony was that the love he sensed in Arnav’s friendly gestures a little while ago, was now turning into brutal love.

Rizwan held Ritvik through his hair and planted a forced kiss on his lips once again. Touch of his lips was something electrifying and sensational for Rizwan in his last kiss. He never felt that amazing taste in any kiss or anything in his life. It was beyond his expectations and beyond all his wildest imaginations. Could someone also taste so good? Could Skin and Kiss have any taste?  It was something very amazing and new for all of them. There was a taste, a unique taste in his lips, in each part of Ritvik’s body. He swallowed his lower lip and started tasting it more intensely. Ritvik was crying badly now. Each inch of his body was being abused by some sex-hungry freaks. One was playing with his private part, other one was busy sucking his lips and third one was exploring his chest with his lips and sucking his nipple like he was also getting some real juices through his nipple. He was stuck with the same nipple as if he was happy in sucking more and more juices from there and it was making him more hungry. The irony was their hunger and their actions were getting wild and intense.

(To be continued…)

 

 

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Immature and Childish


It was weekly off next day so we had some time to spend together for the only entertainment available to us in this closed room – watching movies. Getting up early next day was not a constraint for us.

inarms

He pulled me to rest my head on his shoulder and started playing with my hair. We both were watching movie on my laptop which was kept on a small table opposite to our bed.

“What are you watching?”, he asked.

“A friend shared it with me and asked to watch”, I gave him a short reply. I was busy in watching that streaming show and did not want any interruptions. I like his cuddling and hugging me, but sometimes tend to de-value the things which are rather easily available to us. His cuddling and caring nature has become a routine for me. It’s available in abundance to me. Naturally, it was not my priority at the moment. The movie show was and I wanted un-deviated attention.

I grabbed his hand in my right hand and pulled it down to my shoulder, over my chest.

It was a bigger mistake. It did not take me another moment to realize my mistake. Now his hand was over my more sensible part, Nipple. He is very well aware of my this shortfall. His fingers were probably aware of its favorite playground and started dancing automatically over my right nipple. One… Two.. and Three… Third rubbing was enough to send wake-up signals to the fighter sleeping down comfortably in my underwear. It came out of its deep sleep after stretching itself.

All my attention was diverted to my growing hard-on and his fingers on my nipples. I knew if I would ask him to stop, he wouldn’t. Rather he would find more naughty ways to do the things which I asked him to stop. The only wiser way could be to deviate his attention from what was currently running in his mind.

I grabbed his hand in my hand brought it to my mouth and kissed it. And then, I started telling him the plot of the serial I was watching. “This is a very interesting series. An online friend of mine shared the link with me and asked to see the complete series. This is the story of two friends ….blah blah blah… “, he kept hearing what all I was telling him. He usually pays full attention to what I said. That’s a good virtue of his personality as I know whatever I am saying is being paid attention to. He was looking at my face, and probably understood why I was telling him this long… elaborated version of the story as I saw intermittent smiles floating on his face.He kept looking on my face but I could not dare to look consistently in his eyes. His eyes were able to penetrate and find the truth easily.

He did not utter a single word, just kept hearing me patiently. His hand was still in my hand close to my mouth.After I finished telling him the plot of the serial,  I looked back at him. He was still looking at me. He smiled and gave me a peck.on my cheek, and then we started watching the serial together.

It was a gay themed serial. Although most of the parts were clean (no adult contents) but there were a few intrinsic scenes (very limited) between the two main male characters in the first 10 episodes we watched together. Those intrinsic scenes also may not be counted as the adult contents as it did not have any nude scenes.There was only half nudity on upper half body.

As soon as one of those intrinsic scenes started, his left hand reached my underwear. He slowly grabbed my penis and started massaging it gently. He was gentle and slow to avoid any over-flows (ejaculation). The scene was over after a couple of moments, but his massaging once started, did not stop.  From 10:30 in the night till 1:30 AM he continued rubbing and massaging my penis in different ways and strokes consistently till I finally decided to sleep. I tried taking his hand off but he was not willing to let it go. Neither did he sleep, nor he let my penis sleep.

Needless to say, I could hardly understand what happened on the screen of my laptop after 10:30 PM. I could not understand the episodes, the characters and their dialogs after his hand reached my penis. More I tried hard to move his hand off my penis or get myself out of his grip, more strongly he came back on me. It was clear to me that my such efforts will not only be useless rather may provoke him to go out of controls.

I was annoyed, frustrated. But it was not the time to discuss it. We have already had discussion on similar incident and the result was not favorable. He mostly controls his desires and respects my choices and preferences. I strongly believe that we should avoid expressing our concerns when we are at boiling point. An agitated state of mind does not let you see things clearly and is mostly damaging. My temperament was shooting much higher than the tolerance limits. His attitude had also shown that he was getting out of control and helpless to control his sex-drive tonight. I finally pulled his hand off forcibly, pushed him away and got up from bed quickly and moved towards the table where laptop was kept. I shut down the laptop and went to the bathroom to relieve myself.

When I came back, he was already laid on his side of bed and was waiting for me. He had taken off his T-shirt and shorts, and was only in his undies, as usual. I changed my expression to show him my unwillingness and unhappiness with his forced action on me. I wanted him to know that this was something that really pissed me off. I came back to my bed, and get laid on the bed facing away from him.

He cannot sleep unless he is touching me. He moved slowly toward me and started cuddling with me. I did not give him any response. But he was already in some other mood, probably under influence of high dose of adrenaline and testosterone, which were forcing him to think in only one direction.

He pulled me to to his side and made me lie straight on my back. I was reluctant to this and tried resisting him, but couldn’t succeed. He folded my T-Shirt and then inserted his hand inside my T-shirt to play with my nipples. To curb my increasing resistance, he seized me up in his firm grip.  The situation was turning ugly for me and my condition was more like a prey in Anaconda’s grip.

sleep-sed

This rarely visible Avtaar of him was not unknown to me. I understood the gravity of the situation. I knew, I couldn’t win him over through force or violence.  He is physically stronger than me. His right hand fingers were now playing with my left nipple. His half arm was touching my body from chest to belly. My legs were captured in tight grip of his thighs. I tried to take his hand out but I failed miserably.  It only provoked him to apply more force to overcome my resistance.

My condition and helplessness made my eyes wet. I was not only helpless but also disappointed. Forced sex is never a pleasure. He was probably in full mood to do a lot more. He raised my T-shirt a little more to uncover my nipple and took the right nipple in his mouth. He sucked it twice and each time the intensity of suction was increased.  I tried to push him away, and this time he used his teeth instead of his lips on my nipple. It was painful. It was cruel.

The intense pain from his biting  got my hand free from his grip and I gave him a tight slap. The effect of slap was that he took his teeth off my nipple but he did not let my nipple come out of his lips. He started pressing my nipple with pressure of his lips. This was even more painful. A moment ago the same spot was bitten by his teeth and now he was pressuring it with his lips. I cried foul but it did not affect him at all. He continued chewing it vigorously.

The effect of my resistance was more damaging. He cuffed my both the hands with his left hand and then first he pulled down his own underwear with his right hand, and then mine too. He could not take off my underwear completely, but he pulled it down to my knees. And then he came on top of me.

He kissed me on my neck, and then on my cheek before he finally started moving his ass to rub his already hard cock against mine. He kept sliding it against my cock till it got fully erect and then he moved down to work back on my same nipple. Now his cock was in between my thighs and he was trying to rub it against my thighs and to push it in between the thighs. My legs and feet were locked in his grip. I was totally under his control from head to toes. He kept sucking my same nipple for a good deal of time, while locking me from top to bottom in his grip.

It was an ugly incident happening again, leaving behind very disgusted feelings and experience. I was feeling crushed, exploited, un-happy. I was feeling getting raped again.  Moreover, it was more damaging and disheartening, because this time it was not an unknown rapist. It was being done by the same person who had earlier saved me. It was the same person who was sensitive to my feelings and cared about my preferences more than his own. It was the same person who had been sacrificing his own preferences, his needs an his desires time and again,  in order to see a smile on my face.

It left me devastated, shocked !  Obviously, I was once again feeling lonely and lost in this world. I had lost my friend who was more than just a friend to me, a big brother and a trust-worthy partner. There was only an emptiness and hollowness left behind when he left me.

Next morning, was not like the earlier ones as it used to be till yesterday. There was an unbroken silence with me. This was the only thing available to me after a broken trust and partnership.

“What happened?”, he asked shaking my hair with his right hand and leaning over me to give me a good morning kiss. I was sitting on my side of bed with folded legs, surrounded with un-welcoming and un-pleasant thoughts and memories after last night’s incident.

I moved away my head to avoid any further touch of his body. My mind was surrounded with thoughts, and thoughts… and thoughts… all sort of thoughts and memories, still I had nothing to say. All my emotions, good or bad, and memories were running like water from my eyes.

“What Yaar  !….. you always act childish and immaturely in this matter? What is it now?”, his allegations were adding salt to the existing pepper. “What have I done now?”, he asked again. It was useless to tell him if he really did not know.

There were numerous attempts from him in different styles to bring me back to “normalcy”, but all in vain. It has been more than 5 days now, and we did not have a single word. I prefer to take dinner separately. Intentionally come late from office to avoid him and then get busy with my laptop.  He is still trying hard to patch-up with me. He still tends to touch a part of my body so that he can sleep, but now I don’t allow him at least anywhere above my knees to touch me even accidentally.

For first two nights, when I did not allow him to touch me at all, I could see he had problem in sleeping. He was uneasy whole night, and next day he was dull and lethargic. The second day it was worse. Finally we are sleeping in East-West directions, and he still ensures and tries his best that some part of his body whether his arm or his head or his hand somehow keeps touching my feet or lower leg during sleep.He still comes to know when this connectivity breaks and re-establishes the connection instantly.  I hesitantly allowed him this third night onward because I don’t want him to suffer at work or fall sick because of improper sleep.

My condition was not good either. It took me time to settle down emotionally. I am still recovering from the shock and set-back. I was shocked with his attitude. How could this person, who could not see a tear in my eye, cause me pain and enjoy it?  Was all his affection and love an emotional drama?  He never ignored my preferences or my likes and dislikes so far, then how could he ignore what he was doing to me was not making me feel good or actually was hurting me?  Does the need of sex make one go completely blind? On top of that his allegations “Immature and Childish”  were far from my capability to understand it. What act of mine was childish? When did I behave immaturely with him? I tried re-collecting all major incidents between us but could not find a clue where I acted childish? May be that I was biased and not able to see through the complete picture.

I pinged one of my online friends and asked his opinion. Surprisingly, his opinion was colliding with my roommate. Without even knowing about what actually happened, his straight forward answer was “What Childish act did you do again……….Sometimes, you really behave such.”

This online friend of mine, had been in regular touch through emails and chats, and had probably followed my eDiary in earlier stages of life between us. I believed that we had already established a good understanding of each other. But his reply not only made my scars fresh but also disappointed me to a great extent. He reflected a typical behavior of being judgemental. I am open to criticism, and try my best to analyze and act upon the identified improvement area. But this time, his comment were surreal. I asked him the basis of his reaching this conclusion. I asked him to justify his stand by letting me know when in our interactions so far, he had found my acts childish and immature? He simply could not.  Rather his reply to my objection was defensive, “I was joking and teasing you”.

Friends are needed during such times when we need their help and support. They play a very important role in the ups and downs of life. I was seeking that support at the very hour of need now. I cannot go to any of my non-online friends as I am not open to anyone. I am devastated  and all alone.

I am now, a newly born child.

Yes, I am immature and Childish once again.

Love…Why?


He was trying to wake me up for past half an hour or so. But I wanted to enjoy some more time sleeping. It was Holiday and I had some extra time for this leisure activity. After it rained last night, the climate was also very pleasant and soothing, perfectly suitable for a nap-time.

When he saw his attempts failing, his tricky mind started playing tricks. I haven’t seen any of his tricks failing yet because he knows in and out of me very well. He understands my Physics, Chemistry and Psychology, and masters the art of utilizing it the best way to find the desired outputs.

He pulled me up on his chest. I moved onto him, a bit reluctantly. Half of my energy was wasted in moving.. you know it guys… how tough and big task it becomes when you want to sleep and are already feeling laziness for doing anything. But it was worth it. I was rewarded with a more comfortable, sensual and emotionally satisfying sleep position now.  Slowly, he entered his hand inside my T-shirt and started massaging my back, caressing it.

sleep-on-top

He kept on doing it with a slow pace, all over my back. It was a very soothing effect, and exciting too. There was no reason for me to get lost in my dreams as his moving hands, sensual touch of his warm body, and his hugging was constantly pulling me out of the dreamland.

Suddenly, he kissed me on my neck, and said in a mild loving tone, “Get up baby! The Tea is waiting for us for a long time.“, and with this, one of his hands moved down to my hips and he gave it a gentle squeeze on one side. I was not feeling sleepy and was not sexually aroused. I was feeling calm, and cozy and was enjoying it. But at the same time, I did not want to make him suffer for me. I knew, he would also not take anything without me when we are together. Anyways, his trick had worked perfectly and I was now far away from returning back to my dreams. I raised my head up, trying to get up. He grabbed my head in his hands, and gave me a Good Morning kiss on my lips.

I got down from him, back to my bed, next to him. I was still “planning” to take a little more time before finally leaving the bed, and he probably guessed what my intentions were. He grabbed me in his grip tightly, uncovered my chest and then his culprit hands started paying with my nipple. Almost all the sensitive area of my body were now in direct touch with his skin from chest to down below. Seeing no positive response from me to get up, it was a direct attempt to seduce me and make me sexually aroused, and he was succeeding in this too.

sleep-sed

Soon after his finger tip caressed top my my nipple head, and he moved it up and down and then gave it a mild pinch, my crotch had already started reacting strongly to his actions. Seeing the conditions going out of my control, I made a failed attempt to stop this encroachment on my sensitive area. I tried to block his hand and remove it from the war-zone, but he was already prepared to deal with all such attempts from me. He tightened his grip so that even I could not move my hand, and also started moving his leg up and down to rub my thighs and massage my hardening crotch.

His hand was already able to sense my raising heart beats and he could clearly feel my increased breathing pace. Seeing this response from my body, his movements on my thigh became more violent and started penetrating deeper, upto head of my penis now. I knew, where it was all heading too.

He pulled off my T-Shirt, hugged me tightly and then kissed me. I did not react, as my organs were already responding appropriately.

hug

Instead of trying to wake me up, he also hugged me tight and stopped all his actions except his leg movements. He rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes. His breath falling on my neck was giving me a tickling sensation. His breathing pace also started slowing down. The sensual up and down movements of his thigh hitting my crotch were also slowed down, but he continued doing that. I believe, he was also enjoying touch of my thighs and crotch. We kept lying in that pose, hugging each other, for an unknown time.

wakeup-attempt

After sometime, I was just about to sleep back, when he got on top of me, kissed on my neck and said, “Hey Sexy! Don’t test my patience… you better get up now.“. It was a sincere and an honest request, and a warning to me. I could understand how much he would have been controlling his wild imaginations and actions just not to let me feel bad about his act. I turned back to him, and saw his smiling sexy face, and attractive eyes looking at me. He was caressing my hair, gently moving his fingers on my head. This time, I had no option except to follow his suggestion cum ultimatum.

I kissed him back on his cute smiling face, and said, “Okay!“. After we got up, I went to loo, came back in 10 minutes and saw, he was ready with fresh Tea and snacks for us.  When we finished the tea and snacks, I relaxed myself in a more comfortable sitting pose. He also laid down resting his head on my lap.

couch

I looked at him. I found his glorious, shiny body, and cute face, that could be center of attraction for any eyes. His eyes were closed.  My hand reached his face, and started pampering him. He smiled, with his eyes closed, but did not move.

All of sudden, my thought process became a bit philosophical in nature. I was feeling good to look at his body, and was feeling happy and fulfilled seeing him lying with me. The feeling of him being mine was enough to make me feel “Content” and satisfied. I kept looking at him, enjoying the view. Slowly, my attention moved to his face, and then to his juicy pink lips. I moved my index finger over his lips.

When it reached the middle of his lips, he first kissed it and then swallowed it, and then continued sucking it without opening his eyes. Not sure, if he was enjoying something in his fantasies with his eyes closed, or the sweet and salty taste of snacks we had a little while ago, by sucking my fingers. But his continued prolonged sucking, which was getting deeper and deeper to cover whole length of my finger now made me laugh at his act and also made me think that there ought to be something beyond the taste of snacks.

After a few moments, when he did not stop doing this, I tried pulling my finger out, but he prevented me by grabbing my hand in his hands and continued sucking it more passionately.  I was now sure that he was playing some “dirty games” in his mind. To confirm my own understanding I looked at his crotch. It was hard, erect and pulsating frequently.

I moved my other hand over his chest, and then to his belly. And I noticed, a sudden jump of his crotch in his underwear as soon as my hand touched his body. But he still did not open his eyes.

I am concerned that I am not able to fulfill his deep sexual desires physically, and not able to satisfy his sexual needs either. I keep him starving of his sexual needs. I could not be so cruel to him to not to let him satisfy himself even in his fantasies. So, I decided to help him now. I moved my hand from his belly, a bit down to his crotch and gave it a small squeeze.

As my hand touched his crotch area (through his underwear), his sucking and all other movements stopped. He became a statue, except that his breathing pace was increased  many folds and his penis became rock-hard instantly and started swelling in my hand itself. The force of his penis was pushing my hand up again and again. In sheer embarrassment, I moved my hand away from his penis.

After moving away my hands, he did not react or force me to do it again. He even did not open his eyes. Rather, he continued what he was doing; sucking my finger once again. His now fully erect penis, which was jumping up intermittently was clearly showing his level of excitement and sexual arousal. But now he was servicing his little champ (penis) with his second hand and trying to adjust it every now and then. I bent forward, and kissed on his forehead and said “Enough now!” and started pulling out my finger. This time, he opened up his eyes, looked into my eyes, and slowly let my finger come out of his mouth.

And finally, he grabbed my face in his hands, pulled me towards him and kissed on my lips,and said, “I love you“.

thankukiss

Since then, there are plenty of questions coming to my mind, for which I want to find satisfactory answers. It has been few days to this incident but I haven’t found answers to my questions yet to satisfy my quest.

I know that he loves me, and for him, it is unconditional love too without imposing any restrictions on me. But I am not able to understand if this is his true love and unconditional love for me, why does he feel sexually aroused and want to have sex with me?

Although he is putting a lot of hard efforts in controlling himself and restricting his feelings and his sex desires too, knowing that I may not like him if he does it to me, but why in the first place, he want it (my body) over me? Is it not true, however a remote possibility could it be, that he likes me because of my body, my physical appearance?

I believe, and cannot explain it exactly why, but I have strong reasons for me to believe in it that he has given me a preference over his sexual desires. I also understand that he may have a higher level of sexual needs and may be sexually more active and aggressive than what I am, will it be a good idea for both of us to move forward? I mean, although I am not so restrictive now and don’t stop him touching my body most of the time, but even then it cannot give him full sexual satisfaction (I believe so).

Am I not being cruel on my part to refrain him from his basic needs or from enjoying his life? At times, even I have experienced it, that when I am in sexually agitating moods, that thing doesn’t go off my mind easily and all my attention, my thoughts are focused on that thing. I am making him do it (sexual stimulation/arousal) and then snatch the rights of joy from him on almost daily basis. I have started feeling guilty and feeling of being cruel to his generous nature.  I am not able to reciprocate even a fraction of love, care and affection I am getting from him. I am feeling indebted to him, his love and affection for me. And that is making him a more respectable, adorable, affectionate figure for me, to whom I am feeling indebted for my inability to meet his needs.

The question now puzzling me is, “he loves me…alright, but Why?”

I have asked this question to him, several times, and he tried his best to explain it to me. Even some of my good online friends and readers also added their valuable suggestions on this thread from their past life experiences, but it could not answer my basic question – “Love… Why?” in the language that I can understand. Probably, the definition of true love for me is very impractical, unrealistic and far away from human-world.

I am not doubting his love for me. There is no question of putting him in suspicion-zone for his affectionate love, and care for me, which I can feel.

I have surrendered to him (almost 90%). No major objections or questions from my side now on what he is doing with me or my body. I changed myself to such a great extent that even I don’t believe that I could have taken such a bold step.It altogether is different story that now even he has changed himself a lot and has not crossed any limits that could make me feel uneasy, or embarrassed. But somehow, may be because of my (incomplete, impractical and different) understanding of life, and values that I believe in, probably I want to hear something else… in the language, which probably he might not speak.

But even then… I will keep trying to figure out the answer… Let’s see how… and when !

The Trick ! (Part -3)


After reaching in room, the first thing that needed attention was to get a shower and change the clothes wet with mix of rain water and road water. I was taking my clothes and towel from cupboard when the roomie entered in the room after parking his bike properly.

He glanced at me, and then moved forward but I ignored him and went to bathroom to take the shower. After putting my dry (new) clothes on the shelf inside bathroom, I was unbuttoning my shirt when he entered inside bathroom and locked the door from inside. I was thinking why the hell would he do that? What is going on (in his mind)?

While I was making wild guesses without any clues, he approached me. He was appearing as a villain to me at that moment filled with all sort of negativity. I moved back but there was not much scope, I was already standing under shower (close to the wall). In a steps or two I hit the wall behind me. His movements were making me anxious. He came close to me, very close and then blocked my all possible escape routes by covering me in between his arms and walls. His both hands were on the wall on both sides of me. He was staring at me looking directly in my eyes. I could clearly see the over-dose of confidence in his eyes that was making me more nervous. I tried a failed attempt to threaten him of dire-consequences but my stammering voice and low-confidence tone could not produce the desired effect of threatening. Instead, it sounded like I was begging him for something.

I could hardly finish the phrase, “Look ! … I am warning yo…” when he placed his index finger on my lips to turn me silent, and said “Sssshhhh….!”. He then started moving it from where it was placed on my lips to the other end of my lips. Slowly, he leaned over and attempted to kiss me. I turned my face away to avoid him. This was for the first time in our last 3 months together when I was feeling afraid of him, nervous, low in confidence and helpless. He paused and said, “Don’t worry ! I am not going to eat you. All I want is to have a bath together.”

I slowly turned back to see him. Mostly the eyes reflect the truth beyond the spoken words.I wanted to read the truth behind his words. He was still standing in that previous kissing pose, and as soon as turned back to him, he planted a kiss on my lips. The first kiss was relatively smaller one and a surprise to me. Then he gave me a little break and resumed a passionate and longer kissing sequence.

kiss He grabbed my face in his hands when I tried to resist; so I was unable to move away. I tried my best to push him away from me but he was holding me tightly. Anyways, I am not a match to his gym-toned slightly muscular body built. I even could not take his hands off my face. I got a chance to feel his rock-hard muscular biceps when I tried moving his hands off my face.

Seeing me fighting hard, he relieved my face a bit and moved his left hand to caress my hair and started massaging gently on my head. My shirt was already unbuttoned. He placed his right hand on my chest close to my nipples and started sliding it all the way from my nipple to my belly and up to my waistline. shirtoff He said, “Relax ! Don’t panic. I won’t harm you darling. Don’t you Believe me? Don’t complicate it and make it harder for both of us.”  It sounded like a threat, a warning to me at that moment. His acts were clearly reminding me of an elephant who is in the “Musth” state (un-controllable state), due to increased levels of Testosterone hormones. I felt like it would be safer to follow his directions instead of fights.

He grabbed my shirt from the collar which was already unbuttoned and then pulled it off gently, and started un-buttoning his own shirt. In a moment, we were both bare-chested. He gave me once again that “hungry” looks and then grabbed my right hand and placed it on his back near waist line. He probably wanted some sort of participation from me, instead of being a victim or behaving like a dead meat.

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His seducing actions lowered my fears of “unexpected horrors” and also made me feel sexually aroused. It was a real, warm, smooth human body that I was embracing, which was so far only possible for me in my dreams or fantasies. This was first time experience for me to have such a close and sensational touch of a human body. I don’t find myself capable of describing in words the sensation of touch and feel of a smooth, soft, shiny body which I was embracing and which was touching me from chest to chest and belly to belly. Moreover his moving fingers were accelerating the hormones in required body parts of my body.

 He then folded his knees and pulled my jeans a little down and next I felt was a warm, sensational touch around my waistline. He was licking across my waistline from one end to another. The tickling sensation due to his licking automatically made me move my hands to his shoulders and his head to control his movements.

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I assume he was enjoying it because next he pulled my jeans a little more downwards  (that gave me shivers again for the fears of getting raped) and then what I felt was a more passionate kiss and licking around my belly button. He was trying to grab my belly (skin) in his lips and moving upwards. It was deep and passionate kiss and its effect lasted on me too. This time he even went farther and started licking from the area where pubic hair start.

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His kissing was making me horny too but his actions were also making me fret on next (expected) horrendous part. He moved upwards, kissing most of my belly, chest and then nipple en-route and played around my nipples with his lips for a few moments. That was beyond my tolerance limits as I have very sensitive nipples and these are one of my weak points in my fantasies. He probably already knew it and that’s why he spent extra time here. It made my penis rock-hard and pumping up and down. I tried hard but could not stop moaning in ecstasy.

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While continuing to play with my nipples, he grabbed my crotch and balls in one hand and my hips from other hand and gave them a squeeze.

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He then took off his jeans, and socks and now he was wearing only undies.roomie-undies He was constantly staring at my body during all this and passing me smiles. Over dose of testosterone rushing through my body had also made me fearless to quite some extent and all I wanted was to reach the climax and unload. The super hard crotch was now throbbing with full pressure. He opened the button of my jeans and pulled down my jeans too. Now I was also in my undies in front of him. But there was a difference in my and his undies. My undie looked similar to following (don’t go on mini or micro style of undie.. the matter is the Tent position):

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He stood up straight and pulled my hands up and made me stand in an under-arrest, tied position with his one hand. I was breathing heavily with excitement and was desperately looking at him to stop torturing me like a sex-slave and help me unload my burden fast.

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He kissed my armpits, and then kissed me passionately and then continued kissing me on my neck/shoulder and hugged me tightly in his arms and started the shower above us. Probably he also was in a dilemma whether he should proceed any further or if that could be “dangerous” to “our future”. Or, I guess, my surrender to his actions and no resistance might have turned him to re-think and be soft on me.

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We kept standing there hugging each other under shower for a long time and he kept on kissing me and rub my back.

This was literally a KLPD event, and my first time with someone, which I won’t be able to forget throughout my life. There were many thoughts, mixed emotions and turbulence after we came out of bathroom finishing our shower but we did not talk to each other even a single word rest of the night.

The Trick ! (Part -1)


He has a sharp mind, that I already knew after a few initial interactions with him.

He is a sensible, passionate, loving and caring guy, that I started realizing as my interactions with him progressed day by day.

What I don’t know is how trustworthy he is for a relationship. Sometimes, the mind suggests to be cautious in such matters and some other times, the heart forces to believe him unconditionally. This is strange, but true. My discretionary powers are eloping day by day for any matters involved with him. The more I try to be careful, thoughtful, and cautious, more I am loosing my own grip.

I realized (or more appropriately, was made to realize) that it was always me, and not him, that was the root cause of problems with us. I tried to improve on my weaknesses with him. Initially, I used to get mad when he kept staring at my body (or body parts), that’s gone now. Then I turned to fumes when he crossed his limits and kissed my belly button, but that is also settled down. Then I was reluctant to stay in his company, to avoid falling in love with him, but (I realized) it was my own weakness and fears (homophobia) that was preventing me. Then I tried to control my emotions for him and to make my mind believe he is non-existent, but more I tried eliminating his presence, more forcefully I got attached to him.

I could not tolerate seeing him in that sad and inactive and dull life style. I initiated the physical contact and intimacy that fueled the fire, and now that fire is out of my control, and burning all my senses.

He is no more a nervous, frightened lad, who used to obey me and follow my rules. He is now a clever, smart player who knows which card to play and when to turn the game to his side. This is getting extremely dangerous for me. He is making me think of him all the time.

Last Saturday, when Divyangana and I planned for a movie together on Sunday evening, he followed the same plan. Although, I had used his name as an excuse to avoid the date with Divyangana but he turned it in to a reality and made it an opportunity for him. Now, slowly I am understanding his style of playing the game, but always lagging him as he keeps on changing it.

He bought two movie tickets for both of us, for same Sunday evening and gave it to me. Listening to his honest feelings, I could not deny his offer for movie. Honesty always have been a great attraction for me. We got ready for the show and reached PVR Saket an hour before the show time. I am hesitant and feel awkward on public display of affection and closeness. So, when he walked around holding my hands in his hands, I tried many times to pull my hand back, but somehow he used to grab my hand again after some time. During show time also he continually held my hand in his hands and kept on massaging or caressing it throughout the movie show. Is it the “touch therapy”? (I recently found this term on a relationship website) and it is quite effective way to boost your partner’s confidence in you. Besides it may also work as a stimulus for your next physical intimate rounds.

After the movie, when we came out of Auditorium, it was already raining heavily. We kept on waiting for some time expecting it to stop raining. But soon we were sure that we cannot keep on waiting as there were no signs of rain to slow down or stop. We had to get up early in the morning for the office next morning, so we decided to get back our home in that rain.

He handed over keys to his bike to me to drive, and he sat on the back side. This was again one of his tricks so that he can use his hands more effectively.  It was raining heavily, so we were all taking a rain-bath and got wet withing 3-4 minutes of coming out in open. I started his bike and he sat behind me. He initially held me from back for support, embracing me tightly. His tight grip on me was unusual so I told him for assurance, “Relax ! I am a good driver and you don’t need to worry.”, but he did not loose his grip on me. It was intentional.

Although I was cautious on not picking up high speed but heavy rains were problem in itself, which prompted me to speed up a little so as to reach home at the earliest. As soon as our bike left the PVR premises, it bumped on the first speed breaker, which I could not notice because of clogging water on the road. He got another chance. He bumped on me and moved closer to me. He was now almost in a hugging pose, hugging me from back. He pretended that it is for his safety to save him from falling off the bike or getting dis-balanced. I was wearing the same white Shirt (without any vest) that I wore to office last day. It had turned in to a transparent cloth tightly sticking to my body and revealing each and every bit of my body. Because of this revelation, my body being exposed, I was already feeling awkward.  He was wearing a red polo T-shirt. Slowly, he pulled my shirt off the trousers (as I had tugged it in) and then moved his hands inside my shirt to get a feel of my wet body. I pulled the breaks and turned the bike on the side of the road instantly and asked him to take his hands off immediately but he hugged me even tightly and said, “This is no time for all this, let’s reach our home at the earliest”. Touch of his hands around my chest was hardening my tool. I cried foul and threatened him to leave but he did not let me go. His grip was already tight on me and after my threat, he even embraced me more tightly so I could not move away. I gave up as I did not want to create a scene on the road-side attracting other people’s un-due attention.

I also thought, not to make it a public show, so I started driving again. After couple of minutes I felt his hands moving slowly all over my chest and belly. He started massaging me with his hands. It was similar to the erotic scenes from the movie we had watched in PVR. A human touch of a warm body,  cool rains showering and lowering the body temperature and erotic scenes from movie and similar erotic massage by his hands all over my chest and belly – all factors were adding more Watts to this electrifying sensation which was already turning me sexually on. I kept on shouting on him while driving but he continued doing it as if he was a deaf and dumb.

In a short while, I felt one of his left hand fingers inside my navel and right hand grabbing and pinching mildly on my left nipple. His hands were wrapped around my body in serpentine style, covering most of it and he was probably kissing me (I felt like this many times but not sure because of road-bumps and heavy rains) on my neck from the back. I have very sensitive nipples and those are my weak points. I immediately applied the breaks very sharply and he intensified the pinching on my nipple accordingly. I moved the bike to the side of the road and grabbed his hands and tried to pull it off my body but he grabbed me even tighter, like an Anaconda grabs his prey. It was not only disturbing for me, but also could lead to road accident. It was something very inappropriate for the time and place too.When I could not take his hands off my body, I told him that he is annoying me again and doing something that is risking our lives.

(To be continued…)

Adorable Love-Guru’s Advice – (Part 2)


(Contd. from previous post…)

I don’t know when I fell asleep diving deep in to my favorite fantasies of foreplay and nipple-play. I woke-up when I felt small vibrations in my bed. Delhi NCR has recently seen a few earth-quakes. To be sure if it is really a vibration or earthquake, I turned towards the window which was on my roomie’s side of bed, to see if windows are also swinging or vibrating due to earth-quake. But what I saw was something similar to following:

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This earth-quake (or actually my bed-quake) was result of my roomie’s hand-actions. He was lying bare-chested with his nipples erect and was stroking his already hard tool with one hand while caressing his left-nipple with left thumb. He was breathing aggressively with open mouth and was looking super-horny.

For a moment, I kept on catching the glimpses of what I just saw. He was not aware of me noticing his stormy actions. Seeing him playing with his nipples started hardening my tool too. I don’t know why I did it but something unexpected happened next.

I moved a bit close to him and then… grabbed him in my arms and started kissing him on on his cheek. I myself was getting a hard-on with mere touch of his body.  I moved my hand from his waist to his chest slowly rubbing his already erect nipple (which he was caressing a while ago) up to his neck area and kept it there. Base of my palm was close to his nipple and my arm was spreading from his chest to his belly.  I cannot describe the hot sensation of touching a human body like this. I kept of kissing him just like a bee is doing it to a flower. After a few seconds, he covered my hand with his left hand and started gently caressing it. It was a positive signal (I believe) for me.

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I continued kissing him with eyes closed and started exploring his chest and nipple with my hand.

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I opened my eyes now and could not resist my temptation to kiss on his juicy lips. He grabbed my hand in his hand which was probably making him more uncomfortable and horny. I folded my fingers to grab and rub his nipple. I could clearly feel his erect and hard nipple’s cap that was making me loose my self-control, and then I kissed him for the first time. Our half-naked bodies were fully enjoying each-others company.

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My lips joined his pink lips and he passionately grabbed my upper lip between his lips. I could feel his warm breath and pounding heart beats and I am sure, he was able to hear my heart which was longing for him.

We kept on kissing for around 2 minutes and then I moved my head up and cleaned his cheeks with my hands which were wet with my licking and kissing.

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His passionate kiss, touch of his warm body had turned me “On” and it was a chain-reaction, which was now not in my control. My super-hard crotch was pressing hard against his thighs and was throbbing in pulses to break all barriers trying to confine it within any boundaries.

I don’t understand what turned me, a shy guy by nature, become so shameless and hostile all of a sudden and I don’t know where had those guilty feelings and “family-reputation”  things disappeared all of a sudden. All I could remember in that moment, was that “He is mine … and only mine… and that he belongs to me …forever”. I still don’t understand what made me believe so. Was it due to his total surrender to me or due to his confession of love or something else that made me feel like this for him? Whatever it was, it gave me a very satisfying and conjuring experience.

I had lost all my discretionary capabilities and had nothing to think or decide. I was just flowing in through various impulses and emotions. I lowered myself to reach to his nipple, my sweet-spots of love, and then started licking it and playing around his nipples.

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More I was touching it or licking it, more I was getting excited.

I believe he has very sensitive nipples too (just like me) or it is one of his sweet spots too that easily excites him because I noticed him (and his cock) go wild with every touch of my tongue or my fingers on his nipple. I was enjoying what I had dreamt millions of times in my fantasies (although with girls only) but this was a real nipple in my access first time in my life.

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I was doing whatever was coming to my mind, licking, swallowing, kissing on his juicy, pink nipple and he was moaning restlessly. He tried to control me and grabbed my right hand which was playing with his left nipple till now, and next I noticed that my hand was resting over his pulsating cock.

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His moaning was making me go wild. I don’t know if it was purposely (fake) or real moaning but it was working to make me mad. I moved on to his left nipple, grabbed it and then took a bite.

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He screamed in pain and then I took a real hard bite of his other nipple.

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He screamed loudly this time and grabbed my head in his hands and pulled me up (away from his nipples and towards his face) and then kissed me gently.

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He had unloaded (ejaculated) – I don’t know if it was my bite that caused it or if it was an effect of rubbing through my thighs or his over excitement that made him ejaculate. He looked into my eyes for a moment, holding my head in his hands and then released me. I turned to my side of bed but still horny.

After around 10 minutes, I turned back to him and kissed on his left nipple where I had bitten him and said, “Sorry… !  I caused you pain

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He just smiled back and grabbed me tightly in his arms and started caressing my hair. I slept in same pose, with my head on his chest between his nipples, hearing his heart singing my name. He is really a nice, sensible, loving Guy.

It was a “Good Night” indeed. Here is an image of my “real play ground” that night.

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