Trip to my Home (Part 9: Twisted Life)


(Continued from previous post on same thread…)

We started moving out of the room. My mom called me back in and advised me to set up a separate folding bed for him in the Den where he is not disturbed by anyone. She was concerned that he might be tired and he may not get proper rest in the dining hall which was serving as a common bedroom for almost 80% of guests. The major portion of crowd with kids were accommodated in this room only.

When I came out of the room, I saw my gang and roomie impatiently waiting for me. He grabbed my hand in his hand and asked , “What happened?”. He was concerned that I might have been scolded second time. I explained to him that Mom wanted me to set up a bed for his comfortable stay in a separate room.

bottle-gourd-lauki“Nooooo…. Wa…y…. !”, he said in an abnormal tone as if I was forcefully feeding him “Lauki ki Sabzji” (a dish made up of bottle-gourd). (BTW….We both hate it.. ! )  “Please don’t do it to me. I will sleep with you”, he insisted as a child and then he looked around and noticed that we were surrounded with public. He modified his sentence to control the damages, and said, “I don’t want to go in an isolated room. I will sleep where all you guys are going to sleep. Don’t put me in a jail. Please… !”, He was pleading for mercy as if he had been sentenced a life imprisonment.

“But that’s what Mom asked me to do…”, I said helplessly.

“I will talk to Mom”, he said,  and pulled me inside my Parent’s room with him. My mom was busy in counting some Pujan items. He knocked at the door to draw attention. Mom looked at us and hinted us to come in. After finishing her counting she looked at us, expecting us to tell her why we were there. She noticed that my roomie was holding my hand in his hand. I pulled my hand off. My roomie said, “Ma’m, I came to reques…”

Before he could complete his sentence, my Mom interrupted him and said, “Betaa (Son), come here.” She called both of us close to her. When we reached there she embraced both of us in her arms one by one and then kissed on our foreheads, first to my roomie and then to me, and said to my roomie, “Please don’t mind but you may call me ‘Aunty’ if you are not comfortable in calling me ‘Mom’. For me, you are my elder son. It is not just a formality. I mean it.”

He was quick to reply, “Sorry Mom ! It was a mistake on my part. I was a bit hesitant. I am thankful and feel blessed to be part of this loving and caring family.”, and gave her a hug. After a while, he came to his point and said politely, “Mom, I came to request you to please allow me to sleep with him . I know you are concerned about my comfortable stay and I truly appreciate that, but I don’t want to sleep in an isolated room separately from others. He was a bit hesitant to disobey you this time, so I have come to ask for your approval.”

My mom smiled, and said, “Both of you are my darling. It’s your home Puttar (Punjabi word for “Son”), you need not to be formal. Do what you like.”, and then she looked at me and said, “Sweetheart, I know you would not have done it if you could understand how much it would hurt his feelings. I just wanted you to realize what wrong you did and have a true repentance.  I want to see my Sons as human beings who are sensitive to humane needs and emotions, and that’s how we have been bringing you up. I don’t want to see you turning into an emotionless, self-centered person, who are no good to humanity. “

“Thank you, Mom, I know how much you love me. You need not to worry about anything Mom. I love you.”, I assured her as she was feeling bad after scolding. As far as I can remember, this was probably first time when she was being strict on me.

It was the first event when I got scolding for my elders. They never had been harsh or strict on me, and probably that’s why I never had to be afraid of anything from my parents. They were always more like a friend to me. Probably, that’s why there was never a need to hide anything or tell them a lie. Being honest and truthful is a “value” that I learned from my childhood in sweet company and guidance of my Parents. I believe that is why I hate liars and don’t like to lie with anyone. They believed in high values, and adopted it as a part of their life-style. It automatically got rooted in me since my childhood.

After we came outside, I turned to my Roomie and told him, “You are an idiot ! Don’t you know what you should say and what not? I know I did something very wrong to you, and I should not have done that, but I had already accepted it and apologized for it at the railway station. You had also accepted my apology and assured me to not to worry about it anymore.”

I noticed he was looking around to signal me presence of my Gang of buddies around me. It made me cautious. I turned to my friends and asked them, “Guys ! please excuse us for a minute. We need to talk in private. I took my roomie’s hand in my hand and pulled him to follow me. The only place where we two could probably find some privacy was roof-top.  I headed to the stairs and he quietly followed me.

When we reached on roof-terrace, luckily we were all alone there. I locked the door to stairs so that no one disturbs us further. Then I turned back to him, and said, “Now, speak up !”

He said nothing, just gave me a tight hug and kept me hugging the same way. And then after a short, while he kept hugging me, he said, “I did not say anything to Mom about you. How can I say something against my “Love”? She kept asking me repeatedly in different ways, why I did not come with you? My answers were varying as I was trying to hide the truth. She probably got some clues and understood the whole story on her own. It was her guess work.”

He might actually be right about my Mom. He understood her tricks in a short conversation where as I could not make it in 20+ years. She is smart enough to make 2 plus 2 count 4. “2”  she collected from me, another “2” she collected from my Roomie, and then it was a child’s play for her to manipulate the results accurately.

Till a few days back during our telephonic conversations with Mom, we both were sounding her very enthusiastic and positive to visit her. He (my roomie) had also shared a few plans for our trip to them, but then at the last moment, when I reached there alone, it was a big surprise for her. She was eagerly waiting to meet her new “elder son”, who won her trust and confidence to take care of her “other” son in her absence. Obviously, the “other” was now I who has been moved to “Second” status after introduction of my Roomie to my Parents.  This newly introduced “second” status for me, the Ex-King in the jungle, had been the biggest reason of my jealously to my Roomie. He was getting undue attention and love from my parents that was earlier showering all on me.  This Jealously played a big role in my evil-acts to deceive him and not to take him with me to my home in this trip.

Now my agitation started lowering down. But I acted the same way and asked him, “….And what about your promise? Did you even think for a second how tough it was for me to spend the whole day without you? You deliberately avoided to come here and see me. Is this your love? You left me all alone when I needed you the most.” I did not notice, when my sentiments took control over me and my voice started choking … the flood was uncontrollable so my eyes gave way to overflowing flooding water, and tears started rolling out. He was with me after a long time, and this was the moment I was miserably missing to be in his hands, engulfing him in my arms.

My hands moved automatically and embraced him tightly and started feeling his back. Hands were busy in ensuring that it was him by exploring each inch of his back which was out of my reach for such a long time and my heart was directly at par with his heart, both were sharing with each-other their stories and sufferings through their rhythmic songs. Now, I was a bit settled, and was able to speak again. I complained to him, “I thought that you loved me. But now I know, you didn’t.”

He was already hugging me. One of his hands, which was on my back till now, moved to my head and started caressing my hair. I heard him saying, “You won’t ever understand my true love for you. I don’t know how I can prove it to you.” With this last sentence, his voice also became heavy, and then he took my face in his hands and kissed on my lips.

assuringkiss

This was a life-saver kiss for me. I missed these juicy lips and this passionate kiss badly ever since I came here. The kiss resolved all my issues and past grudges between us. This Kiss made me feel calm and assured me of all sort of securities I needed. All of a sudden I was now not able to understand “why?” I was feeling so depressed and so uneasy till now. Was that effect of magical powers of his true “love” or  his “Kiss”? There was nothing left to complain, nothing to be explained. I got the assurance that he was back and that he was mine.

Noticing the inappropriate location and time (terrace), we parted away and then decided to go back. We both were happy after this short session which helped us resolve all conflicts.

When we reached downstairs, most of my buddies in the Gang were curiously waiting for us. They saw us stepping down holding hands in hand, and carrying a smile on our faces. Their wired look at our hands made me understand their concerns. But I deliberately did nothing to change it. It was a clear indication to my Gang, we have resolved all our conflicts and he need not be treated as a traitor in our Gang. Slowly, he started gaining acceptance by most of the gang buddies.

It was the only time available to him to get some rest as tonight whole night was planned for Jagran, so he wouldn’t be able to sleep. Now I was also hungry as I had avoided two meals since morning, and after I met with my love, my life, my Roomie, I started feeling hungry once again. He too just arrived a little while ago, so we headed to get something to eat now.

Now, my friend, “A” who was behaving like my shadow till now, and was accompanying me everywhere since I stepped into this city, was almost invisible. There were one or two incidents when I could just see a glimpses of him, but I felt that he avoided a direct contact with me. Whenever I saw him, he just turned away to other room or avoided the direction where I was standing with my roommate.  This kind of ignorance from the people you love, or who are in your close-nest is always hurtful. I could make a wild guess but wasn’t sure if my understanding was correct about why he was doing that to me.

I was concerned about “A”. It is not easy to find such good and caring friends. I went to “A”, and asked him, “Hey Buddy !  How are you doing?”

“A” replied, without looking at me, “me, fine. What’s up?”

There was a small silence.

Then “A” continued, “So, how are you doing now? You look better now…, energetic and happy.”

I replied, “Yes ! I am feeling much better now.”

“Yeah… I know. I noticed it after you met your Roommate.”, He mumbled.

It was in my own interest to not to go deeper or continue this conversation to avoid any conflicts of mutual interests. I was feeling utterly hungry, so I considered it better to switch the topic.  “Hey… !  I am feeling hungry now. Would you like joining us?”, I asked. And then immediately after finishing my sentence, I realized that I made a mistake.

“Naah ! I am okay. “, said “A” looking directly into my eyes. His eyes were emotionless, just like his short reply. His reply confirmed my suspicion of him not being okay with me and my Rommie together. Suddenly it clicked to my mind that he was accompanying me in every moment as my shadow. He had not taken meals without me in past two days.  “Did you take anything today?”, I asked.

“I am full.  You please enjoy it with your friend, he shall be waiting for you. He might also not have taken anything since morning.”, He suggested.

He was trying to avoid any direct eye contacts with me now. His answer was also not confirming that he had taken anything since morning. This was the same answer which I was giving to everyone when I was being forced to “take at least something” since morning and I wanted to avoid it. I understood, he is trying to confuse me with such wordings and I was sure that he also would not have taken anything knowing that I was not feeling well in morning and avoided my breakfast and lunch.

“Doesn’t matter. It’s already been quite a gap now since lunch break.”, I paused momentarily, and then continued, “You suggested it right, I want to enjoy it with my friend, …You, That’s why I am here. How can I enjoy without you?”

After finishing my sentence, I held his arm and pulled him to take him with me without waiting for his response. He was a bit reluctant initially, but then came along a bit hesitantly.

“A”, my Roomie, and I were taking meals together in the separate room, which was initially planned for comfortable stay of my Roomie by my Mom.  I saw my Mom, entering the room. She said, “I just came to see, if he took care of it (meals) or not. He tends to forget everything when he is surrounded with his friends.”

“Yes Mom. He is just like that.”, said my Roomie teasing me, and supporting my Mom’s point of views. That’s why probably he got so easily promoted to be my “elder” brother. When he called my “Mom” as Mom, “A”  who was just about to take a bite in his mouth, stopped, with a shocking expression on his face, and started staring at my Roomie with surprise. His mouth was still left open, with his arm holding the spoon in the same position. He looked first at my roomie, and then looked at me, and then back to my roomie with same expressions of surprise and shock on his face. And then, continued with his food waiting on the spoon he was holding which he was just about to take in mouth.

“Okay ! Yes, I see that. Now, I came to you guys to ask for a little help. He is so much into his friends that gave me the confidence that he will probably not argue with you guys and easily follow what you suggest him.”, Said my Mom.

And then she turned to my Roomie, and called him by his name, and said, “R (name of my Roomie) !, you are an intelligent guy. (Please) make him understand the importance of proper clothing. I want to see him well dressed for the function tonight. He doesn’t pay any attention to me on this. Probably now he will understand and follow it when you explain it to him.” After this she looked at the faces of “A” and my roomie to get the confirmation on importance of external appearance in our lives.

A neutral response from my roomie and my friend “A”,  prompted her to reveal the actual secret now. She further added, “You know, Mr. and Mrs. XXXX have specially come all the way from Canada to see him for their only daughter. That’s why we planned this event. And you know what..?… They look keenly interested too in accepting him as their son-in-law, but look at him. He has been wandering around in these shorts and T-shirt only whole day.He was not feeling well for the past two days since he came home. They have seen him just like this all the time. Tonight I want to see him well dressed and groomed. I don’t want that girl to reject him just because of his attire. She is born and brought up in Canada and may have higher expectations for her to-be-husband.”

Now I remember, when my father introduced me to Mrs. and Mr. XXXX when I arrived here, there was a young girl sleeping on the bed, which probably was their daughter for which they were interested in me. Now I could co-related the sweetness and love offered by them to me when I was introduced to them. It was all making sense now to me.

Having finished revealing her secret, now my Mom was looking at us with a big Smile on her face, and this was the time for the shock and surprise for all three of us, including me.

Smiles disappeared, faces doomed, and dull, and frozen posture – it was a common reaction from all three of us. My friend “A” and my Roomie, both turned to me with big questions in their eyes for which I had no answers. I could clearly see the “lack of trust” and disappointment in their eyes. Probably they were assuming me to be a stake-holder in it. And my roomie might have an additional solid reason to believe it now that I deliberately did not want to take him home with me to hide this “marriage” thing from him.

“Okay ! so now I leave this responsibility on you guys to get him ready for the show”, said my mom with a big smile, before leaving the room.

I was watching my Mom go out of room. When I turned back to face my friend “A” and my Roomie to explain the actual situation and that it was even a surprise for me which I just came to know at this very moment, both of them had already left the table and were already heading to exit the room together.

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Trip to my Home (Part 2)


(Continued from previous post…)

Surprised with this announcement I headed towards the Platform #1 Enquiry counter. When I reached there, I could not find my roomie anywhere near the counter.

A young lady was sitting inside the chamber, close to the Mic through which she was doing announcements.

“Excuse me, Ma’m”, I tried to interrupt her in between her sequence of announcements.

She gave me a frowning look, and asked, “Yes?”

“My name is XXXX (my name). There was an announcement for me a couple of minutes back and I was asked to meet someone near this announcement counter. I do not see that person here. Could you please let me where has that person gone?”, I was not expecting any reasonable answer from her, but she was the last hope for me to get any leads for moving forward.

“Sir, I only read from the text that is given to me. I don’t keep track of people who give me those slips.”, She replied in a harsh tone. This was very much expected from a Government Employee in India. I started looking around to see if he was somewhere close to this counter, but unfortunately could not find him. Then it clicked in my mind that I have a device called “Mobile Phone”.

I popped out the handset from right pocket of my Capri, and noticed that there were two alerts. I had missed 2 calls from my roomie around half-an hour back and one SMS text was pending for my review. I opened the message and it was a short text that read like “Wait ! I am coming.” The missed call alert meant that he tried calling me during the time when I was waiting for his reply but due to some technical reasons or network issues, call could not complete. I was now confirmed that it was not a confusion or mis-understanding of announcement by me, and that he should be somewhere here only.

I picked up my luggage and started moving towards exit gate of Platform 1. As I crossed the metal detector I saw him (my roomie) standing on right hand side at a little distance from me. He was looking away from me and appeared a little nervous. I called him by his name. He turned around after hearing my voice, ran towards me and gave me a tight hug. I felt a little suffocated with his tight hug and my heavy backpack on my back.

“You even did not tell me by which train you were scheduled to go. And then your (mobile) number was ‘out of network’. I was afraid that I lost my chance to meet you and see you off. I wanted to wish you a sound and safe journey.”, he was crying like a baby while hugging me and had not released his grip on me. He was hugging me so tight as if he was afraid of losing me or if someone might snatch me away from him. I also embraced him in my arms and tapped his back to assure him that everything was alright.

“I am also sorry. I know I was so wrong and so mean to you. I don’t deserve your love and care. “, I tried to calm him down, but my conscience and my guilty feeling did not allow me to hide anything from him.  My eyes were wet. When something truly comes from heart, rest of the senses support the emotions automatically.

He perhaps did not pay any attention to what I said, although my lips were close to his ears. I believe, he was busy in making sure that I was still available to him as he was repeating all those fears of losing me and his hands were exploring my back to make sure that I am physically there.

Suddenly my attention was drawn away by surroundings. I pulled him away and said, “I know that I have hurt your feelings and it is hard to forgive what I have done, but I would be really happy if you come with me and join us in this festive celebration, else I will also not go.”, I said while wiping my tears which were about to jump out of my eyes.

I looked at his face, which was wet with the tears rolling out of his eyes. I gave him my handkerchief to clean his face and said, “We hardly have 10 minutes left before the train departs. We must hurry or we might miss the train.”

He wiped his tears and said, “I cannot come with you tonight. I have an important client meeting scheduled for tomorrow. And don’t worry about all these small things, I know there are a lots of improvement area for us to work upon, for which we should give time to ourselves.”. He paused for a moment and then continued, “Now, you need to move fast to catch your train. I will try my best to catch you on weekend, if I could manage, or I will be waiting for you to join me back. But now I am now satisfied that I could finally see you before you go on such a long vacation.”

He picked up my bag and took my hand in his hand and started moving fast towards the platform 6 where my train was ready for departure. We literally ran and crossed a lot of steps in hurry on the stairs of the foot over-bridge to quickly catch the train. It was hardly a minute when I boarded the coach and the train started moving.

“Don’t forget, I will be waiting for you.. be there”, I asked him from the door of the coach where I had a berth reserved for me. He did not say a word, but sent a flying kiss to me. I too replied him with a distant kiss and the moving train kept the increasing the distance between us.

(To be continued….)

First Crush (Part-5: Friendship Grows Deeper)


(Continued from previous post with same Title..)

Slowly, with more and more interactions, we were able to understand each other better. There were many common things between us, such as similar likes and dislikes, similar perspective of looking at things, inclination towards logical and rational thinking etc. But there were many contradictions too. Opposites attract. That was applicable between us too.

She was bold, jovial, fun-filled, and believed in fully enjoying every moment of life in present, without worrying too much about future or living in the past. We could find excuses that she did not need to worry about finances to manage her life that’s why she was happy. But that’s so not true. Everyone has problems in life.

She was least bothered about restrictions imposed by society, family or cultures. In her opinion, if your heart feels something is good, you must do it with all your heart and soul without worrying about “What others may say?”.

All these and many more things were there which attracted me to her. I learned a new definition of life and also learned the better way of living it. It did not mean that we should overrule our culture or social values just for sake of being “Modern” and liberal minded. It would be wrong. It only meant that we should make informed and rational decisions after proper analysis. We should give it a thought with an open mind to see if what we were going to do was still relevant in current context. It means that we should give due consideration to see if our action is somehow not going to adversely affect someone else, before we jump to a conclusion or act on it. We need to be “alert” and “awake”.

She only made me understand what exactly is the meaning of gender-equality in practical terms. I was falling for her. I respected her. Although, for most of the people in college campus, she was still a “Bitch” who knew some sort of black magic too as she succeeded in winning over the most  decent, typical and reserved guy – Me, who was too shy initially with Girls.

Slowly, she also started spending more and more time with me, instead of other guys in her group. She “reserved” her rights over the seat immediately next to me in every class in a couple of days after we met. Slowly, we were to be seen together all around the day, whether it was library hour, free time, lunch time or computer labs. She was confirmed to be with me, wherever I was. It was her voluntary act and I never objected it. I actually started feeling good to be in her company. For rest of the world, we were “couple”.

study

We were mostly occupied with our gang of buddies and I was cautious of not to give her any preference or special treatment over and above others in our group. She was mature enough and understood it “why?”, and actually was quite supportive in this context except for allowing anyone else to claim her seat (next to me), which she never allowed in those two years when we were together.

the-gang

There was another problem, which surfaced gradually with time. Although she never created a scene for this thing but most of the buddies in our gang noticed that she was becoming possessive for me, day by day, and felt uncomfortable or behaved rudely with others whenever someone touched me or hugged me. Initially she used to deal it diplomatically by interrupting in between me and other person but her abnormal behavior was soon noticed.

students-hug

In a few exceptional cases, when we had to part away for a reasonably longer period of time, she would come to me without worrying about where I was or who all were accompanying me. In one such silly event, she followed me to boys’ rest room. It created a great chaos and a huge tantrum among many “sections” of school-administration. Not to mention, she made the news-headlines for the un-published version of school news bulletin for couple of weeks, and was among the top trending topics for gossips among all students and teachers. Thanks to her bold act, now everyone knew about “us” in a far better way. That day I realized how stubborn and daring she could be.

My Gosh ! She really was daring…did not sound normal to me  !“,  interrupted my roomie with this comment, looking at my face for a reaction. And then he continued, “Or, probably, your charm made her do so…“, and winked with a big smile on his face.

He asked me again, “From what you have described, it does not sound that you liked her the way she liked you.  Right?“.

Well…. it’s not completely true. I also liked her company a lot. Every person has a different level of maturity at emotional and physical fronts and different needs, which give a feeling of satisfaction. Only Physical aspects were never my cup of tea. I would appreciate outer-beauty, but only physical beauty might not be sufficient to keep me tied to a person for long unless I am also emotionally attached to that person.“, I replied to my roomie and then continued the story as following.

We were soon very close friends. But she was still a mystery for me. She always used to do something totally unexpected. Her nature kept me curious all the time and constantly maintained my interests in her. We had a small group of guys and girls, who were now close friends, and most of them had now accepted her in our group and were okay with her joining our group. They were also able to see her real beauty and appreciated it. Whereas for some of them, she was just okay because I liked her. People started telling us that we both were changing, in a good sense of “Change”. They started complimenting her for a better change with virtues like “Politeness, Sensitivity to others, being Humane, Helpful and Kind”, and me for “being more Romantic, Cheerful, Understanding, Open-minded”  etc. etc. It happens; People who are closely associated with us tend to notice small changes in us even before we notice them.

In due course of time, when we started knowing each-other in a better way, and shared some of our secrets and details of our families, she revealed that she was living in USA for past 12 years and came to India a month before joining this school. Her parents did not want her to live there now and that’s why she came back to India. It was also evident from her accent and style of communication too, which was often a point of teasing her and making fun of her style during her initial days in school among the students of the class.

I also came to know that her Parents had got her admission confirmed in the best 5-Star school of the city, which was the only place for all kids belonging to those super-rich or elite business class families. She attended that school for two days, until she noticed me on the way to her school from her car. I used to ride by bike to my school. Third day she asked her driver to follow me to find out which school I was studying in. And fourth day, she insisted with her parents to get her admission confirmed in my school.

Her parents were initially reluctant to let her join our school which was “below their standards” but later surrendered against her strong resolution to study only in this school. They loved their daughter very much and tried their best to meet all her demands. It was not a problem for a high class business-family with abundant money and sound political relations to get the admission confirmed even after all the seats were full.

Our friendship grew very fast. She also took me to her home and introduced me to her Parents. Typical upper-class family! I knew that I would not be a welcome guest as I was clearly no match to their financial status. I belonged to a different class of society, and even after 70 years of independence, they probably considered themselves the royal blood of Great Victorian Dynasty. Her father was a little bit rude (or I might have felt it for obvious reasons) but her mother was a bit better and a little more affectionate. Mothers are always full of Love. I must admit that there was a huge difference in culture and family values between ours and this upper-class super-rich family. Even a pet in our family gets more attention and care, as a part of family, than they (Parents in this super upper class) give to their kids. No wonder, Shalaka was carried away with kind of love, care and affection she received in our group.

Her home was not less than a mansion in itself, having a separate room (I would rather call them halls) for every member of the family. I had seen those kind of things only in movies. Different types of sub-ordinates (I would not like to call them servants) for different activities in different departments. There was a complete team to serve the dishes at dining table. Different etiquette to be followed for different times of day.

After that visit, I was not interested to go to her home again but I visited her house a few more times when she insisted a lot for different reasons. Although, I did not feel comfortable whenever I visited her house, as I always felt like being an alien in her house, but I agreed to her requests as it was a matter of her happiness.  It would not be appropriate for me to turn it into an ego problem when it was a matter of her happiness.

She also invited the whole gang at her mansion a couple of times when she had thrown a small party for the whole group. She did not do it to show-off  or to impress us with her luxurious life-style and upper high class status. It was a genuine attempt from her to become more friendly and come close to everyone in the gang. She was willing to share with her friends what she was blessed with in real life and others in the group had only seen in movies or fantasies. She also organized a show of the Hollywood movie “Baby’s Day Out” in sound-proof auditorium in her house for us to enjoy.

She left her Mercedes and accompanied me on my bike many times and asked me to drop her to her home. Slowly, her security staff, driver and “others” also understood it that I was a “special” friend for her. Even though I met her mother just twice, but I was not an unfamiliar name for her. Shalaka had already made me famous in her family even before I visited her house for the very first time. I came to know about this when her mother guessed me correctly in our very first meeting without any prior introduction. She was the only child and her mother was a good friend to this growing young lady, so they both kind of shared their girly-talks and secrets. Perhaps, that could be a reason of her being a little more affectionate and kind to me, unlike her husband who always appeared very rude to me.

Anyways, it was always Shalaka, and her happiness, which was important for me, and not her financial status or her family associations. I did not find that level of problems, which could possibly force us to split apart or something which we could not timely address. She was careful about not to hurt my self-respect or not to let the differences in our financial status be a matter or concern between us. She tried her best to be one of us, the gang of buddies, and succeeded quite a lot in her efforts to be a buddy.

First Crush (Part -4: Friendship Begins)


(Continued from  previous part… )

About Me:

I was also at par with her in terms of competition. Although it was a different kind of competition for me. We both were new to this school and culture here, so both were facing similar challenges in some way or other. But I was relatively luckier. Lucky to be blessed with good and supportive friends. Instead of resistance, I received a friendly welcome by most of the class mates and school mates (juniors or seniors) right from the very first day. Perhaps, there was no “diving” financial levels between us as opposed to that Cinderella with Mercedes. Obviously they found me one among them and accepted me whole heartily.

I was among a very few popular guys in the campus, it came to my notice a little later. Why? I had no clue. There were others who were exceptionally brilliant in studies and probably from the same DNA line which belonged to Einstein, and there were others who were master in their respective fields of expertise, be it Music, Games or flattering with girls. I was not match to any of them. On top of that I was “Shy” in talking to girls and not so “talkative” in new groups.

I was just a good student, with excellent academic record, but not a book worm. I was not too much into sports either. I was just an average player, yet everyone wanted me to be in their team in Cricket or Volley Ball or Badminton match. Besides all these negative traits, I was still one of the preferred candidates for friendship. The number of my friends kept on growing exponentially. Most of them, once added to my friends circle, are still my good friends. Yes, I received a few compliments from time to time that sounded like “Cute Smile”, “You don’t have ego problems like XXXX”, “You are warm and friendly”, but I believe it was just to strengthen the bonding / friendship between us, and nothing more.

I was popular in my class too. Not only my teachers, but teachers from other class also knew me by my name. I always received good grades and appreciations from my teachers, since early stage of education. So most of the times, my fellow students used to borrow my notes or asked me for help in explaining a typical problem or a chapter to them. I don’t really know if it was an easy way for them to reach me and get fully devoted and uninterrupted attention or if they really wanted to study something. Now when I see this in context of allegations by my roomie (keeping in mind the physical beauty part), I may weigh it higher on former aspect. I was definitely not the only option left to them. It is not in my nature to deny if someone asks for a help.

The number of girls asking for my help was increasing day by day. Now when I am analyzing it today, I can make a wild guess. I tell you the reason, why? For boys, I was readily available to mix up with them as and when required, and I was surrounded with guys most of the times. They did not need an excuse to reach me. Because of my reservations and conservative  family/culture values, I was not supposed to be seen with girls in isolation often. Same thing was applicable to girls with “decent” families as it was a small city, with not so advanced, liberal and modern life styles. So usually girls used to visit boys in small groups and with a proper excuse to start the chit-chat. No doubts, there were a few exceptional cases. But after that Cinderella entered in our campus, these exceptional cases had grown very fast. Now even the girls from decent families were feeling proud in having 1 to 1 conversation with guys or to hook-up with their so called boy-friends whenever they get time in the campus. You know, it was like flashing a necklace, which read like, “My Boy friend is better than yours, because I deserve better.”

Our First Meeting:

One fine day, I was enjoying a free time having a chit-chat with a small group of friends, both guys and girls, near the play ground when the most notorious guy of our class, Ritwik, also nick-named as Play-boy, patted me on my shoulder from the back. For me, he was also a good friend.

I turned around and saw him smiling, accompanied by Cinderella. I had not seen such a beauty in my whole life. She was really a God’s gift to this universe. I did not get a chance to see her from so close distance earlier. I forgot to blink my eyes and kept staring at her face for a moment. I know it was embarrassing and rude, but I lost myself in her greenish eyes. She winked and shouted “Hi Sexy !”, and moved her hand forward to shake hands. Her loud voice, which was loud enough to be heard at the other  end of the corridor we were sitting in,  brought me back to my senses.

I shook my hand with her. The touch of her smooth and silky skin was something I had never felt before. It was a baby soft skin. Her white teeth were complementing her smiling lips, covered in vibrant bold red color. My eyes could not decide where exactly to stay to enjoy her beauty. Every glimpse of her face, was looking prettier than what my eyes were currently focusing at and at the same time were becoming greedy not to miss the golden opportunity of enjoying rest of the beauty of this Live Goddess. Who knows, if I would ever get another chance for this in my whole life or not. Now I understood why all the guys were mad about her and why they were so sympathizing with her. Now I understood, why all the girl-gangs were feeling so insecure and jealous of her. She was born to control the universe with her beauty.

She was looking more beautiful than she used to appear from distance apart . I could not dare to look down her face as it might be offending her but she definitely made my dick hard. She was looking a fully grown adult with properly shaped tight boobs. Her beauty and cute smiles were enough to make anyone file a mercy petition to this Goddess of Love and beauty.

“Meet my friend, Shalaka. You must be knowing, she also joined our college recently just like you.”, the Play Boy Ritwik gave a brief introduction.

“Oh ! so we have something in common… That’s a great start then.”, said Shalaka with a cute smile on her face. Everyone around me started looking at my face when she finished her last sentence.

“I am glad we met. I also noticed that you are a bit different from others. That’s why I asked Ritwik to introduce me to you.”, She smiled and winked when she finished her last sentence.

“Pleasure is all mine.”, I replied. Everyone, including me, clearly noticed a bright smile on her glorious face after my reply. I don’t know why I said it to her and later I felt embarrassed too when I looked at faces of all my friends who were paying attention to our conversations very closely and were giving mixed reactions through their facial expressions after each statement by her or me.

“From where had you done your previous schooling?”, she continued the talks. I was not sure if she was interested in knowing more details about me or she just wanted to make me more comfortable to open up with her through these talks, but it was sure she was not in a mood to say “See you later” which I was planning on next. I was feeling awkward in talking to her as I was afraid of losing my friends if I paid more attention to her. Boys were happy but girls were clearly very unhappy with her presence around me.

“Well… I was studying at XXXX earlier.”,  I answered.

Her next question was ready, “Where exactly is this…is it in this city or somewhere else?”

What the hell? Was she making fun of me or my financial condition? It was kind of insulting to me. We tend to see the things in the light of our own presumptions. That might not reflect the correct color of things to us. It was a small city and the school I named was one of the renowned schools in the city as it secured highest number of meritorious students, but it catered to academic needs of most of the middle class families. Definitely, it was not meant for kids of Super Rich families. For them, there were a few  5-Star schools in the city. I was disappointed by her question. Suddenly my mind reacted that probably everyone was right in saying that she does not deserve a decent friendship.

She might have noticed my facial expressions after her question, and probably she understood my concerns, and said, “Well… I am asking because I am new to this city too. It is hardly a month since I moved in to this city.”

I instantly realized my mistake, and felt sorry for what all sort of negative thoughts and presumptions I made for her. We tend to do this mistake again and again, still we do not learn. We should learn not react to a situation, rather, we should practice to respond it appropriately. We must learn not to be judgemental about what we hear, see or feel, unless there is a clear and explicit need to do so. I committed this crime of being judgmental and jumping on conclusions, based upon my presumptions and thoughts.

I was wrong, and I could not stand myself unless I ask for apologies from her. It would remind me not to repeat similar mistakes again.

I said, “Please accept my apologies Shalaka, I mis-understood you.” She probably already had an idea what I was talking about but she was generous to let it go. She smiled back and patted me on my shoulders and said, “It’s okay. It happens sometimes. Don’t bother about it too much.” And then she moved her right hand once again to shake hands with me and asked, “Friends?”

I noticed she was not only intelligent, but also sensible to catch the emotions and mature enough to respect the sentiments of others. It is not an easy thing. One can only be affected by other’s pains and sentiments with only purity of mind and heart. It touched me. Her previous image in my mind that was built from various hear-says and feedbacks about her by others, started fading away. I found a totally different person standing in front of me. She was looking an innocent child to me. I happily accepted her friendship offer and took her hand in my hands.

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“Well.. this school is one of renowned schools in the city which delivered highest number of meritorious students. It is situated at XXXXX location around 5 Kilometers from this college.”, I explained her in detail. I wanted to be more courteous to her now to compensate for my mistakes.

By that time, the bell rang and the current session (class) was over. We needed to head to our next class. We all, including Shalaka, started running to the lecture hall where next class was scheduled to grab the seats on the front rows. On the way back to class room, I introduced her to rest of the friends in our group.  Don’t know about others but I was feeling good and was happy to find that she was not that bad of a person as portrayed by others.

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 (To be continued…)

First Crush (Part -3)


(Continued from previous part …)

Okay ! Tell me now…  How old were you when you had your first sex?“, He interrogated. He opted for a direct question-answer approach when he noticed that his old style did not work.

I had never done sex yet.. I mean… before meeting you.“, I explained.

He giggled and said, “Bull Shit! Even we did not have sex yet. Don’t name this smooching and hugging as sex. You haven’t touched my dick yet and I have not even seen yours.

Then, I never had sex.“, I replied with a smile.

What the fuck! I don’t believe you.“, He said in a surprising tone.

Why?“, I asked. Now even I was surprised on his comment. “You believe it or not, but that’s true. BTW… why can’t I live without having sex? Why are you so surprized?“, I cross questioned him.

All your actions, ….. your style are so full of seduction. The way you look, your cute smile, your touch, the way you talk, all are part of killer packs you have. Look at your round butts, perfectly shaped round thighs… And what about the way you touch me in the bed, ….kiss me, … it is so full of passion and perfect…. first timer cannot do it like that.“, he added.

His disbelief made me feel like a play boy. or more appropriately, like a criminal, a prostitute. His accusations had hurt me more than his not believing me. He made me feel like a shit. This disappointment lead to instantly fade away all my self-respect and confidence, which reflected appropriately on my face immediately.

He got alert after seeing natural response to his accusations on my face. To control the damages, he came on back-foot, and said, “I didn’t mean it that way. Sorry if I happen to hurt your feelings though I did not intend to.”, and then kissed me  to make up for the loss.

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Then he continued, “I mean to say, you are no less than a Greek God. Look at yourself baby, your sponges pink palms, your deep navel, your pink nipples, your broad chest, juicy pink lips, killer smile, beautiful shiny eyes, shiny black silky hair…. I mean.. every single part of your body is enough in itself to make anyone beg you for your love.

He paused momentarily and then started again praising me more enthusiastically, “Even if you forget about the physical beauty, you are more beautiful from inside. Even if I would have been blind, your soft-and sweet voice, with so caring and loving touch was enough for me to fall in love with you. You always tend to take care of people around you. It gives an assurance that you are there for us. How can it be possible that you did not have anyone close to you earlier?

The power of “Words. I was amazed to realize it once again. He said almost the same thing but now put in different words. Former was so destructive and humiliating where as later had a healing touch. Sometimes, we happen to do things that we don’t intend to do. But the good thing to remember is that it is never too late for an honest apology.

A little bit of silence gave us time for quick recovery. I diverted my attention to my school days as it was not going to help getting stuck in loop of negative thoughts. I thought for a moment about my school days, and it reminded me of the golden school days, and my lovely friends. Yes, I have always been passionate about my friends, and it is also true that I feel emotionally attached to each and every one of them. They are not just friends for me, they become part of my family. This is also true that I have been really lucky to get the same level of affection in return.

This is also true that I always received due respect and importance in my groups, whether being in a group of friends, among my colleagues or among the group of classmates. I never faced difficulty in making people agree to my terms or my suggestions. People around me were so kind that they readily accepted my suggestions and offers. There was minimal resistance or no resistance at all, most of the times. Does it really have anything to do with my looks?  Does looks and appearance play such a powerful role in our life?

It is also true that I never had a very large friend-circle.  Belonging to a small city, I had been confined to a small group of friends and colleagues. So my exposure was also restricted to a very limited number of people around me before moving to this Metropolitan area. So none of his observations could be generalized on mass scale.

As far as his point about my attractive looks is concerned, I know that I am a little better than average looking guy of my age, and it may also be true that I might have been blessed with sharp and probably attractive physical features (well.. to my opinion it depends a lot on the viewer) but it is also true that no one had ever seen my body earlier (except my parents during my first few years of early childhood and now my roomie after I moved here). People do not have X-Ray eyes to scan my body covered inside clothes. No one ever made me realize earlier that I look so good or attractive or look like a “Greek God”. I never got such compliments. Calling the friends with nick names like “Sexy”, “hotty”, “Cutie-pie”, “my chocolate pie”, “Champ”, “Hero”, etc. was a common thing among friends (my Mom calls me “ape” sometimes), but it does not mean that one is really a Champ or (“ape”) or that one looks sexy, or like a chocolate pie.  So, his point of navel, chest, etc. are out of consideration.  It could not be a reason (I guess !) for me getting the priority and preference over others, if it really ever happened.

What happened? Where are you lost now? Okay.. stop putting so much load on your tiny mind. Just be with me here now and answer my questions.“, he once again interrupted my long and deep thought process. He pulled me up in his arms, and started playing with my hair.

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I looked at his face, expecting him to ask the questions. He started with, “Do you remember any girl or boy who was too close to you, on emotional or physical level?

It made me recall one incident from my school days and brought smile on my lips. First intimate experiences are really hard to forget.

Wow ! you are blushing!“, he exclaimed. “That means there was someone. Who was she?

She was my classmate when I was in 12th standard.“, I replied. I was even surprized why he named only “She” and not “he” in his last question.

Tell me the incident in detail… from very beginning.“, he said while continuing to play with my hair. I started narrating the story…

The Story begins… : A Little About Her

She was my classmate and belonged to an elite and reputed industrialist family. I had been very shy, especially when it comes to deal with the girls. I had my schooling up to 10th standard from all-boys school. When I moved to this new school, she also joined it the same year. I was popular among guys, but did not have that open interactions with girls.

Unlike most of other girls in my class, she was bold, frank but reserved, and definitely beautiful. Having a modern outfit, bold makeup, good dressing sense and her style made it evident that she is not like most of “us”. It was a common point of discussion among peers what she was doing in that school as most of us thought that she clearly was not a fit for that gentry, and must go to more royal and costly upper-high class institutes. Most of the girls-gangs were jealous of that “bitch”, because they knew they were unable to compete with her at any front – intellectual, financial or her personality.

Obviously it was hard for her to adjust to new place with such an “attitude”. She could hardly include just a few girls in her friends circle. She was not left with many options by the competing girls-gangs. Boys were  extra-ordinarily supportive and inclined to help the “poor” girl. Such incidents opened the “eyes” of boys to see the “truth” behind dirty politics of the girls-gang. As a result, she had more boy (-friends) than girls in her circle. She anyways, did not mind having a lots of boys in her friends circle. After all she was a “bitch” as identified by the Girls’-Gang.

Even though she was ridiculous and not worth a decent, loyal friendship for anyone, as described by Girls, but she ignited the fire in the campus. All the girls wanted to grab more attention of boys and started competing with her. It improved the life and status of boys in campus as the latest fashion trends and bold dresses were slowly becoming a norm now. Except a few very beautiful, who always had been very selective, most of the other girls were now more open to have boy friends, perhaps just to have a status symbol and show off.

(To be continued…)

First Crush (Part -2)


(Continued from previous post…)

As his constant movements were not allowing me to continue my work, I closed my laptop and moved to couch. There were two reasons, first, he couldn’t disturb me there as there was not enough space for two to accommodate. Second, I was feeling a bit tired and wanted to take a short nap, which was not possible with him being with me on the bed. This allowed me a chance to think on what he said about me.

I could not believe in what all he said about me. It was probably not all true. It might be a mix of his perception about me, his feelings for me and his wild imagination. He is also an emotional guy. When we are emotionally attached to an object (or a person), we usually tend to see the things in the color we prefer to see them, which may be far far away from the reality. Or, it may just be a case that he was flattering me to unearth some “elaborated” and “untold” truths of my past life.

But his flattering words about my “magnetic” personality gave me a reason to smile. I  normally don’t hear these kind of appreciations. It was embarrassing too. Someone told me that I was contagious. If that was true then it was like a virus, no good for anyone. I was being compared to a negative aspect of life. He might be honest, because usually frankness and truth are siblings. At least, in his expression of feelings for me, and his love for me, I could co-relate his words with his feelings for me and his affection for me. It was a very close match. That gave me a reason to dig deeper in my past, into my childhood and analyze it with a fresh perspective. I now need to see the past events from his perspective and find out if there was any truth in it.

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“What happened? It’s okay if you are not comfortable in sharing your secrets with me. I cannot force you anyways.”, he jumped over me and shook me by my arm seeing no response from me for a while, and brought me out of all the thoughts I was lost in. I knew, it was not easy for him to leave me alone even for a moment, when he was around me.

I still did not say a thing. Neither did I open my eyes. It was my mistake. I forgot, that this may invite more troubles for me if I did not respond to him. Sometimes he behaves like a toddler. He wouldn’t leave me till I revert back to him or pay attention to him. He did exactly the same.

He started moving his butts up and down slowly, thereby rubbing his penis against my butts. It was already semi hard, which started getting harder with each movement. I couldn’t really understand why do I find his penis almost hard all the time, whenever I got a chance to feel it. I was also wondering if he is sexually hyper-active or a sex freak? Well… actually this should not be the case because, even though he is sexually aroused most of the times when he is with me, he refrained himself from crossing limits. He had been able to control his sex desires at the last moments, when even I lost all my control.

I turned on my side to get rid of him from this awkward pose.

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And then he kissed me gently on my shoulder and whispered in my ears, “Hey Sexy ! Tell me naaa….  who was your first Crush? How was your first love experience? I want to know where do I stand in your life.”

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His last words touched me deeply. His tone had turned into a serious note and lost its jovial nature while putting these words. It was not difficult to understand that probably  he was troubled with something while putting these words.

I grabbed his hand in my hand, which was wrapped around my chest, and then turned to him. He welcomed my move with a smile, but this time, it was fading away.  I looked into his eyes, and kissed him passionately, and then said, “Darling ! You are my only love of life so far. You are my first and the only crush. I am deeply in love with you.”

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And, I noticed his glittering smile was back. His eyes started shining with the same confidence and naughtiness.

He kissed me back, hugged me tight, and said, “… but what about girls… I still want to hear all your childhood stories. I want to be part of your that life too.”