Q&A/FAQs

(Q&A Last updated on 29-Jun-2019 at 09:15 AM IST)

* Note : New updates/amendments are highlighted in different color of fonts.

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[Update 26-Nov-2018] :

A new menu added Thou Spoke! which has some threads of communication between Desi Munda (the author or the blog) and readers of this eDiary. Please follow the links on bottom of that page for individual threads of communication.

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“What is happening between you two guys?”
“Where have you been for so many days?”

“Why no posts?”

…… so many questions to be answered…!

It feels Good, motivating, and positive…when someone is there to hear you, or share your thoughts and feeling… ! Thank you, my dear readers, for showing your interest and following my blog.

A few kind-heart, loving readers are really concerned about our well-being, and their such small chit-chats, comments, emails etc. keep me motivated to come back to eDiary (this blog) and post here the recent updates.

When there is no active reader, (no response…no comments..etc. ) it does not make any difference whether I am updating my love-life on my regular diary or this eDiary. Both remain silent and just hear what I tell them. Rather it is hectic and require extra work to login and type it in here, which sometimes, I try to avoid if I am a bit tired. That’s why I am constantly requesting active participation from my audience in terms of comments, suggestions or any feedback.

This post is being published to answer some of the frequently asked questions from selective readers who are keenly interested in knowing my day to day life details. I have compiled it in Q&A format, as I was replying them through individual emails.

So, now proceeding by answering the questions which started this post… part of which has already been answered above !

Q. What does the term “Desi Munda” mean?

“Desi” and “Munda” are two words taken from North Indian languages. Desi is a word derived from ancient Sanskrit language, and popular in Hindi language too, and “Munda” here is taken from the Punjabi language. There may be other variants in different languages too but as I am a Punjabi Guy, (North Indian) I can co-related to the meaning known to me.

Desi [d̪eːsi] is a loose term for the people, cultures, and products of the Indian subcontinent or South Asia and their diaspora, derived from the Ancient Sanskrit देश (deśá or deshi), meaning Land or Country.  Desi is now, sometimes, used in context of someone or something that is “Original”, “close to roots”, “Pure”, “Without any adulteration” and “Non-artificial (non-synthetic)”,  as in “Desi Ghee”.

Munda means a Boy, specifically a young lad, in Punjabi.

So, the word Desi Munda (as in Desi Munda Says…), closely matches my role as an author of this auto-biography cum eDiary which has my thoughts, and some incidents from my love-life.

Q. Are you two real? I don’t believe you. It seems to be a fiction.

A. This (or something similar in different wordings) has become one of the most commonly asked questions by readers of my eDiary, and still keeps popping up every other day. That’s why I am highlighting it here and moving it on top of the list among all other questions.

I am thankful for your visit to my eDiary, and your curiosity reflects your interest in my eDiary and events listed. This is more like a reward for me as an author of this eDiary.

Now coming back to answer to this question, does it really matter? How? If you want to meet me (or him) in person, we are part of fiction for you, but still with you. If you don’t want to meet us, how does it really make a difference then? In any case, it is upto you as per your comfort level, to take it as a real life incidents or part of fiction, that suits your taste while enjoying your time on my eDiary.

Still not satisfied, read below…

It was so awkward for me initially when people kept asking me questions like this. But now I understand their concerns slowly. No one can expect such gifts and all-happiness in life. That’s not doubting me or questioning my eDiary.. they are questioning the life-rules!

People while reading these stories, tend to substitute themselves with characters of story and then start comparing. They find it too good to be true because in their life they find a hollowness. Least do they put a rational thinking and try to analyze it “why?”. They don’t realize it for a moment that this eDiary does not contain details of each and every moment spent between us.

There were bitter moments too. There were moments when we quarreled like enemies … like husband wife.. …like siblings… There were times when we did not talk with each other for days.. there were moments, when mostly I tortured him for childish and immature demands and expectations, and he could not fulfill them because of whatsoever reason or limitations.

There were moments when we were both upset and helpless when we saw our nest was headed to be destroyed even before it could have been built properly. We were helpless..frustrated! Life appeared to be ending without any hopes. But those things are not part of my memories collection on this eDiary. Why would it be there? Sadness and separation is everywhere! I don’t need another diary to remember those gruesome moments.

No doubt! he was gem of a person, and he had showered unconditional love on me all the time till we were together. That kind of love is really hard to find in this world. I truly feel obliged for it and thankful that I was blessed with his divine love. I really didn’t deserve him, probably that’s why nature has played it’s role to balance it.

The only purpose of maintaining this eDiary was keeping myself hopeful and lively in his memories… pleasant memories. Another reason why people find it too good to be true is that they see him from my eyes. Obviously, when they read me, they will only see him with shades of my love and affection for him.. why would he appear any less divine than he appears to me?

Q. Are you on Social Media, Facebook?

A. Yes, I am present there too. You can access it on Facebook here. But after so many issues with FaceBook privacy and recent password and data leaks, now I have almost stopped using it. I hardly ever use Facebook now, but the account is still active. I may even plan to delete it later!

	Desi’s presence in Virtual world (Click on links on the left)
Facebook Page	My Facebook page for my eDiary! (Now, I am not regular on FB)
Desi on Quora (English) Desi on Quora (Hindi)	My thoughts, my opinion on some of the topics or questions asked randomly by random people! If you want to know more about me as a person, my thoughts, please have a look. I am active in both Quora Hindi and English. The links to my Quora profile are given below: Quora Hindi Profile Quora English Profile
Desi @ Sarahah	For anonymous comments, suggestions or feedback (Don’t expect a reply back as I cannot track you to reply)
Desi’s Hindi Diary(Thoughts!)	A collection of my short thoughts, on various topics. It is a journal of my random thoughts.

Q. Where do I start on your eDiary?

A. Most of the posts on this eDiary are in continuation to previous posts. Some are extending in a series of multiple posts, where as others might be a smaller series ending in 2-3 sequential posts. If you want to follow the whole story from the very beginning, in chronological order, in proper sequence, you may start from TABLE OF CONTENTS (refer to Menu item with this name) and start following chapter by chapter as listed on table of contents.

If, interested in reading a particular series instead, and not the whole story from beginning, you may find such long stories (series) listed with different titles on the Series Homepage, titled as Desi’s Library on the menu.

Q. How are you two doing? Why is there a delay in publishing new posts?

With your kind blessings and good wishes to us, we both are doing good now. There were some incidents in recent past but we have managed to overcome them. My apologies for delay in publishing the posts. Delay is because I am hardly getting time only on weekends to publish new posts. So, the blog update frequency is now “Weekly” updates, mostly on weekends or on holidays. I apologize from my readers to keep them waiting for so long. I hope, I will continue getting same level of love and support from my blog readers as before.

[Update 08-Mar-2019 : Unfortunately, we got separated, but I am optimistic about finding him once again someday.]

Q. So…, you two are couple now. Who is husband and who is wife?

A. [Update Nov 12, 2016]  With your best wishes, and Almighty’s blessings, yes we accepted each-other as life partners (Nov 12, 2016). We are still 2, having individual identities and trying our best to become “1”.  Although, second part of question is not relevant here as of now, but to answer this I need to understand your criterion for defining the terms “Husband” and “Wife”.

Q. Which part of your body he is more attracted to?

A. Excuse me! ( … I would have preferred to skip this question if there was a possibility). I don’t know if he is interested in “parts” of me. What I feel is that he is more interested in me as a whole-piece and as a person and not in my body parts.

Q. OK. Let me re-phrase this question. Which body part of yours he is more sexually attached to?                                                                                                                                       (OR)

Q. Are you a top or bottom? What about him?

A. I don’t know about him. I don’t know about me either. We never had anything beyond kissing and smooching yet. It has always been restricted to  almost a sensual foreplay and seducing game only so far. He is kind enough to give due consideration to my preferences, my values and my wish (most of the times) during any sexual advancements. He has so far refrained himself from doing anything that I feel strongly repelled to.

Q. Do you love him? Do you find him sexually attractive?

A. Yes, I Love him. Sometimes, yes, I find him attractive too.

Q. Do you like to watch him completely nude?

A. As a matter of fact, No, I don’t. He looks better in clothes or at the least in his underwear.

Q. Have you touched his Penis?  Did you get a chance to fuck him (or vice-versa)? When are you two  planning to do it?

A. No, I have never touched his private parts (intentionally). I don’t like male to male fucking or anal sex, even in porn. It is a clear No-No for me, always.

[Update : 14-Jan-2018] : Yes, I have (touched his Penis).

Q. You started the story-line very well, and it was new and entertaining. But now your story is “stuck”. You should move forward and bring some action.

A. Thank you for your appreciation. I value your suggestions for improvement. But please try to understand it is not a porn-blog. This is my eDiary, which contains small incidents between me and my roommate from our day to day life. I try my best to be as honest as possible (to mention it as it actually happened in my life with my thought process at that moment) while I put them in this eDiary (blog). 

Q. Do you guys ever fight with each-other? It is all a fiction like love story full of sweetness and melodies.

A. Yes, we do. Everyone in life has sweet and sour experiences. There are conflicts too. You are seeing us as a happy couple, just like the ones in fairy tales, because that is how you want to see us (or probably your imaginary character in the story). Most of the times, the illustrative images, and your creative mind together make the things appear in more vibrant shades than what is actually portrayed by the author. It does not list all day to day routine or life events. It does not mean we do not have those gray shades in our life.

Q. I want to talk to you over phone / meet you in person.

A. I am sorry. I can’t help you with this. I cannot share any personal identifiable details or meet you in person. The reason is obvious. I believe you will also respect my concerns of privacy.

Q. Then, how can I communicate with you/reach you?

A. There are plenty of ways, if you want to reach me. Figure out which one best suits your requirements.

1. By putting Comments on the Post itself (the Best option, if you ask me!)
2. Using CONTACT ME form to send a direct message
3. By Submitting your feedback, suggestions or comments on the Short-Survey
4. Reaching me out on my Quora Profile (which provides a direct-message feature)

Q. Which one among these is the best option to communicate with you?

OR

How do I get your reply? OR
Why I do not get your reply back?

A. It depends purely upon context and needs of communication. If this is something related to a particular post on my eDiary, please use the Comments (Titled as “LEAVE A REPLY”) section on bottom of the page. It is the quickest way to get back to me.

If it is something unrelated to the post, (some other topic or a general query, suggestion or compliment etc.) or a response to one of matrimonial profiles listed on Gay-matrimony section, please use Contact Me form to reach me. You may also use it for sending personal messages, because unlike the comments, the messages sent by Contact Me form are private and do not get auto published publicly. This is for one-to-one direct message.

Please note, replies to your messages would be published on my eDiary itself, if necessary. For messages sent through Contact Me form, you may look Desi’s Reply section (check the menu item with same title), and for comments, you will get replies posted below your comment on same post. [I guess, if you are a registered user with an email, you also get notified of replies to your comment on your mailbox.]

Please check back after 24 hours, in most of the cases, it takes hardly a few hours to revert back. Please accept my apologies as I no longer use the email for communications with my readers on the eDiary because of privacy and security concerns.

Besides, you may also use the short Survey to share your inputs and feedback, along with your comments.

You may also reach me on Quora, links to my Quora profile are already given in my presence on social media question above.

Q. You are too young to be employed. At this age, how can you be employed,  without even completing your formal education at graduate level?

A. You are absolutely right. I am not employed. I am a student, working as an intern on fixed stipend per month with a one year break from my regular session.

[Update : 14-Jan-2018]: That internship project was over in June 2017. Currently I am completing my graduation studies back at my home town.

Q. What is your sexual orientation, are you Gay, Bi or….?

A. I was “confused”. With so many terms flipping everyday and so many changes I have seen in myself, I was totally confused on “Who am I ?” part.  Luckily, an online ex-reader of my eDiary (this blog) suggested me to let go of all “Labels” and give your time and attention to just “two of you” – to see what you want in your life. I followed his valuable advice. (Thank you, Dr. Love! for this valuable piece of advice.)

Initially, before meeting this roommate, I was confirmed that I was straight, and had never felt sexual attraction in men. Things started changing dramatically soon after I met him. Within the first three weeks, there were significant changes in my likes, my preferences etc. that even surprized me.  Although, in my own knowledge, I was still straight, but I was getting attracted to this roommate (not necessarily sexually). Slowly, I observed myself getting sexually aroused after one or two incidents as the time passed. This was happening only with him. I still could not create any interest in any other male bodies. Another online friend from Facebook gave me his expert opinion that either a person can be straight or he cannot be straight. So if you felt sexual attraction for him, close the chapter and be confirmed that you are not Straight. I took his advise and considering him as an expert on the subject, I started seeing myself as “non-straight”. I was still not able to understand why any other male bodies are not able to effect me. I tried seeing some gay porn too to check my identity and orientation. I still had no clue.

I was even confused, why the hell I don’t feel sexual attraction for this guy all the time? Some incidents between us caused me to feel repulsive and drift away from him. But again, Dr. Love (a nick name to one of my good online friends and reader) and some other readers of my blog gave me valuable inputs from their past experiences that made me see through the situation more clearly, and take corrective actions from my side. Slowly, I again started feeling good about him. I also noticed many times, that this sexual attraction grows or works only and only when I am emotionally attached to him. Stronger the emotional bonding, greater the chances of being sexually attracted to him. Further, it was always him who has to initiate the things, and ignite the fire in me to get sexually aroused.

Today (on August 15th, 2016), I came across a good article on internet and found a great level of similarities between my situation and the symptoms listed there. I feel, it fits almost 98% to my case, and thus clarified my doubts. Although, I am more than happy to avoid any labels now, and it really does not matter what you call it, but for some intellectuals, it is more important to label the water as “Water”, so that it can effectively quench their thirst. For them, I would like to be Labelled as Demisexual.

The article is a nice piece of information, for many others like me, who are undergoing similar situation in life to explore their identity. My advice to them is – forget about putting any labels to yourself…enjoy your life and try to understand what do you want in your life. You are not a “brand” after all which need a label. You are not a thing either. Still, it is nice thing to know that there are many others (although very low in numbers) like you and me. You may find this article here on this link.

DemiSexual: (http://demisexuality.org/articles/what-is-demisexuality/)

Note: I shall keep updating this post from time to time by adding more question here. Currently I have added only a small part of questions that were frequently asked to me by many readers.