He has a sharp mind, that I already knew after a few initial interactions with him.
He is a sensible, passionate, loving and caring guy, that I started realizing as my interactions with him progressed day by day.
What I don’t know is how trustworthy he is for a relationship. Sometimes, the mind suggests to be cautious in such matters and some other times, the heart forces to believe him unconditionally. This is strange, but true. My discretionary powers are eloping day by day for any matters involved with him. The more I try to be careful, thoughtful, and cautious, more I am loosing my own grip.
I realized (or more appropriately, was made to realize) that it was always me, and not him, that was the root cause of problems with us. I tried to improve on my weaknesses with him. Initially, I used to get mad when he kept staring at my body (or body parts), that’s gone now. Then I turned to fumes when he crossed his limits and kissed my belly button, but that is also settled down. Then I was reluctant to stay in his company, to avoid falling in love with him, but (I realized) it was my own weakness and fears (homophobia) that was preventing me. Then I tried to control my emotions for him and to make my mind believe he is non-existent, but more I tried eliminating his presence, more forcefully I got attached to him.
I could not tolerate seeing him in that sad and inactive and dull life style. I initiated the physical contact and intimacy that fueled the fire, and now that fire is out of my control, and burning all my senses.
He is no more a nervous, frightened lad, who used to obey me and follow my rules. He is now a clever, smart player who knows which card to play and when to turn the game to his side. This is getting extremely dangerous for me. He is making me think of him all the time.
Last Saturday, when Divyangana and I planned for a movie together on Sunday evening, he followed the same plan. Although, I had used his name as an excuse to avoid the date with Divyangana but he turned it in to a reality and made it an opportunity for him. Now, slowly I am understanding his style of playing the game, but always lagging him as he keeps on changing it.
He bought two movie tickets for both of us, for same Sunday evening and gave it to me. Listening to his honest feelings, I could not deny his offer for movie. Honesty always have been a great attraction for me. We got ready for the show and reached PVR Saket an hour before the show time. I am hesitant and feel awkward on public display of affection and closeness. So, when he walked around holding my hands in his hands, I tried many times to pull my hand back, but somehow he used to grab my hand again after some time. During show time also he continually held my hand in his hands and kept on massaging or caressing it throughout the movie show. Is it the “touch therapy”? (I recently found this term on a relationship website) and it is quite effective way to boost your partner’s confidence in you. Besides it may also work as a stimulus for your next physical intimate rounds.
After the movie, when we came out of Auditorium, it was already raining heavily. We kept on waiting for some time expecting it to stop raining. But soon we were sure that we cannot keep on waiting as there were no signs of rain to slow down or stop. We had to get up early in the morning for the office next morning, so we decided to get back our home in that rain.
He handed over keys to his bike to me to drive, and he sat on the back side. This was again one of his tricks so that he can use his hands more effectively. It was raining heavily, so we were all taking a rain-bath and got wet withing 3-4 minutes of coming out in open. I started his bike and he sat behind me. He initially held me from back for support, embracing me tightly. His tight grip on me was unusual so I told him for assurance, “Relax ! I am a good driver and you don’t need to worry.”, but he did not loose his grip on me. It was intentional.
Although I was cautious on not picking up high speed but heavy rains were problem in itself, which prompted me to speed up a little so as to reach home at the earliest. As soon as our bike left the PVR premises, it bumped on the first speed breaker, which I could not notice because of clogging water on the road. He got another chance. He bumped on me and moved closer to me. He was now almost in a hugging pose, hugging me from back. He pretended that it is for his safety to save him from falling off the bike or getting dis-balanced. I was wearing the same white Shirt (without any vest) that I wore to office last day. It had turned in to a transparent cloth tightly sticking to my body and revealing each and every bit of my body. Because of this revelation, my body being exposed, I was already feeling awkward. He was wearing a red polo T-shirt. Slowly, he pulled my shirt off the trousers (as I had tugged it in) and then moved his hands inside my shirt to get a feel of my wet body. I pulled the breaks and turned the bike on the side of the road instantly and asked him to take his hands off immediately but he hugged me even tightly and said, “This is no time for all this, let’s reach our home at the earliest”. Touch of his hands around my chest was hardening my tool. I cried foul and threatened him to leave but he did not let me go. His grip was already tight on me and after my threat, he even embraced me more tightly so I could not move away. I gave up as I did not want to create a scene on the road-side attracting other people’s un-due attention.
I also thought, not to make it a public show, so I started driving again. After couple of minutes I felt his hands moving slowly all over my chest and belly. He started massaging me with his hands. It was similar to the erotic scenes from the movie we had watched in PVR. A human touch of a warm body, cool rains showering and lowering the body temperature and erotic scenes from movie and similar erotic massage by his hands all over my chest and belly – all factors were adding more Watts to this electrifying sensation which was already turning me sexually on. I kept on shouting on him while driving but he continued doing it as if he was a deaf and dumb.
In a short while, I felt one of his left hand fingers inside my navel and right hand grabbing and pinching mildly on my left nipple. His hands were wrapped around my body in serpentine style, covering most of it and he was probably kissing me (I felt like this many times but not sure because of road-bumps and heavy rains) on my neck from the back. I have very sensitive nipples and those are my weak points. I immediately applied the breaks very sharply and he intensified the pinching on my nipple accordingly. I moved the bike to the side of the road and grabbed his hands and tried to pull it off my body but he grabbed me even tighter, like an Anaconda grabs his prey. It was not only disturbing for me, but also could lead to road accident. It was something very inappropriate for the time and place too.When I could not take his hands off my body, I told him that he is annoying me again and doing something that is risking our lives.
(To be continued…)