Sumit kept watching Shashwat for some more time, while he was asleep. He had to intermittently adjust his bulge due to hard-on which was another distraction for him now and was not allowing him to enjoy the glorious beauty of his love in front of his eyes. After a few minutes he decided to let go of his fears holding him from at least touch and feel Shashwat’s body. He knew he would never get that chance again if not now. The adrenaline and testosterone running through his body had a made him take bold step without worrying about the possible consequences.
He slowly moved to the side of the bed where Shashwat was sleeping in his inner-wears, covered partially with a bed-sheet. Sumit called Shashwat’s name a couple of times in low voice to check if he was still awake. There was no response from Shashwat. Sumit took it as a confirmation that Shashwat was asleep and proceeded to uncover him very carefully from the bed-sheet he was covered with. When he took the sheet off, he was amazed to see his man sleeping in white vest and white V-cut underwear in front of his eyes. Sumit’s heart started racing with excitement and fear. He then slowly started folding Shashwat’s vest to uncover his belly and part of chest as much as he could do without taking a risk to touch Shashwat directly.
Sumit’s heart skipped the beat when he saw the Shashwat’s body at such a close distance within his reach. Sumit kept staring at Shashwat’s deep navel for a few moments which was moving up and down in a steady pace with his breathing. Sumit brought his lips over Shashwat’s belly-button, and sniffed it. He wished to kiss him right there, but he couldn’t dare to do so. Sumit didn’t want to take risk of waking up Shashwat with his stupidity and loose the golden chance that he got luckily today. He hovered his fingers over the hairline from his lower chest, through his belly-button up to the point where it was entering the elastic band of his underwear.
He looked a bit down. Contour of Shashwat’s thick cock was clearly visible from his undie and was hinting he possessed a nice package down there. Sumit now could not control himself from touching Shashwat’s cock for once through his underwear. Sumit’s fingers started floating over the contours of Shashwat’s cock softly. He himself was fully erect now. He was careful not to let Shashwat feel any pressure because of his fingers floating over his underwear while Sumit was enjoying the touch of his private part.
Suddenly, Shashwat changed to side-pose, away from Sumit and turned to the other side facing the empty bed. Shashwat’s round shaped butts covered in white tight-fit underwear and perfectly rounded thighs, which were neither lean, nor very heavy, were facing Sumit now. This movement alerted Sumit. It was a possibility that Shashwat might be awake! Glory of his shiny face faded off instantly. Little droplets of sweat filled his forehead even though he was in air-conditioned room. He was scared, and nervous! He couldn’t dare to pull back Shashwat’s vest to its original position fearing any further act may turn it into a nightmare if Shashwat was awake.
Sumit quickly moved back to his side of bed and decided to lie down. He wanted to pretend being asleep. It was the easiest escape coming to his mind to save himself. He did accordingly, but he could not dare to face Shashwat. He was facing opposite to Shashwat. When Sumit closed his eyes, it was Shashwat’s same beautiful and sexy body, his thick bulge, floating around which he just witnessed a few moments ago. He opened his eyes struggling hard to put those images to rest, and turned his face to sneak at Shashwat’s face. He wanted to ensure if Shashwat was still asleep. Shashwat’s eyes were comfortably closed. He was indeed in a deep sleep. Sumit looked on Shashwat’s body once again as if he was creating a sketch of it in his memory. Suddenly it came to his mind that he should bring Shashwat’s unwrapped vest to normal position to save himself from the embarrassment when Shashwat wakes up.
Sumit slowly turned towards Shashwat and started pulling down Shashwat’s vest gently. He could do it partially only as major part of his un-covered vest was now suppressed on the side Shashwat was sleeping on. But he felt comfortable after pulling down Shashwat’s vest, which was looking much more like normal condition, before Shashwat went to sleep. Thinking about Shashwat’s clothes, it reminded him that Shashwat had hinted an outdoor trip in evening. That means he must also take his clothes off to save it from wrinkles before sleeping, like Shashwat did. He had not brought any other pair of dress.
Sumit got up, took off his clothes, hesitantly. He was not wearing vest. He was not used to wear anything under T-Shirt. He felt awkward in sleeping just in underwear with Shashwat. He used to sleep this way in his room but that was when Shashwat was not around him. Why he was feeling shy of Shashwat today, he couldn’t understand. But there was no other option either. While putting his T-shirt on the hanger, he sniffed Shashwat’s shirt which Shashwat had already placed there before going for sleep, to smell his body odor and felt relaxed. Sumit felt like he was embraced by Shashwat. After putting off his TShirt and Jeans, he came back and lay down on the bed next to Shashwat who sleeping on other half of the bed.
Before closing his eyes, Sumit looked at Shashwat for one more time, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was feeling sad for his condition. He loved someone, but was not able to express it, just because they both were of same sex. Besides the age difference, he wished to have him as his spouse, but that was not possible most probably. He cursed his life as he was the unlucky person with poor heart to suffer with all these dilemmas in secrecy and privacy. “Would it be any better, if I was able to marry him”, he asked to himself. “But how?… I am not a girl”, he cross-questioned himself. “Would it have solved my problems if I was a girl?”, he thought for a moment.
No, he had no girlish fantasies. He was happy being a man and had no gender identity crisis. But being a man was making his life miserable. It was the only reason why he had no chance of being with the person he loved the most. It was the root cause why he wasn’t even able to express his heart and his true feelings to Shashwat.
“His wife would be the most lucky person on the earth!”, he consoled himself assuming Shashwat was married and that his wife was probably the luckiest person on earth to find such a cool life partner. Sumit felt that Shashwat was really a gem of a person, and an asset for life-long journey together. He was down to earth, soft-sweet spoken, manly, friendly, and most importantly very caring. He had shown many times how much he cared for a stranger like Sumit.
Sumit had noticed time and again that Shashwat paid attention to all small and minute things, trying to read his thoughts…when he was down emotionally… and Shashwat’s approach to settle the things back to normalcy was really a balanced practical approach. There was this perfect blend of care with love without interfering too much into his individuality. This was one of the reasons why he felt him reliable and trustworthy partner for life. Among these thoughts of regrets for not being able to be with the person he liked the most, and his sexual identity crisis with loads of social stigma, he didn’t know when his eyes got closed and he fell asleep remembering Shashwat, the Love of his life.