Who Am I (3)?

(Continued from previous part..)

She was confused.

She was nervous. She was unable to understand how will she explain it to Mike and everyone else that she “is” the James. It was embarrassing moment for her if Mike found boobs and vagina instead of a broad flat chest and a dick which instantly used to get hard with a mere glimpse of Mike.  No one was going to believe her for such fairy tales.

She was weeping. The Hope is our true companion throughout the life. When we loose hopes, we abandon the life. It is an irony that we close all possible doors for ourselves without giving a fair chance or paying attention to what actually is going on with an open mind. We are often stuck in our own prejudices and beliefs. The same thing was happening with her. She had presumed “all doors closed” and lost her chances of survival in this new Avtaar. She was scared. Besides the identity crisis, she was undergoing a state of rejection, denial and suppression. She needed the assurance and she needed someone she can count on.

When Mike entered the bathroom, he could not understand what was going on. He just woke-up alarmed when he heard her crying loudly. He jumped off the bed and ran to take care of her in the direction from where he heard her voice coming. Now he was there standing in-front of her, confused and still.

Mike moved close to her and tried to calm her down. “What happened Baby?”. She felt warmness of Mike’s hands on her shoulder. She was not in a state to answer. She kept crying. Mike pulled her to himself and embraced her in his arms. Her almost naked body was in direct touch of Mike’s almost naked body. She could feel the warmth of his smooth and perfectly shaped chest and belly through her arms which were folded till now to hide her face. He gave her a tight hug. Mike’s hands were embracing her and giving her the assurance which she needed the most. The assurance that confirmed her that “No worries ! I am with you”.

Our sub-conscious mind plays a vital role in making decisions, and making us feel the things good or bad awkwardly. She felt a little bit of assurance with Mike’s hug and she responded back. She was traumatized, worried, and scared but she got something that she had been missing miserably when she was James. James longed to touch Mike’s body and wanted to be with him physically but Mike’s un-willingness never gave James a chance to proceed further. James had expressed his love and feelings to Mike, but Mike rejected it saying that “I don’t love you the way you love me. I like you as a friend and as a person. That’s all”. Today, it was Mike who was hugging her, chest to chest. As soon as she felt the touch of Mike’s body her hidden desires and suppressed wishes got another life. She momentarily forgot about her being in this state of shock and trauma. She was still crying but she forgot the reason “Why?”. She started feeling better in that cry that made her fall in Mike’s arms. Her folded arms ran loose and covered Mike in between. Both were hugging each other. Her breasts were pressing against Mike’s smooth chest. Her tears were running through Mike’s chest and her lips were still busy in cry but now, they got a support from Mike’s chest to control her emotions.  Her body had changed, not the emotions.


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