Who Am I?

“You won’t understand it.”, James said sobbingly.

The emotional turmoil he was going through was evident and was reflected through overflow of his teary eyes.

Mike looked at his face. He wanted to help him come out of this pain but he was unable to end his miseries. After all, what James asked was out of his capability to deliver him. Mike could not utter even a single word to console him.

After a while, James said in a feeble tone, “It’s not in my control that I love you.” He wiped his eyes one more time, and said again, “Is it my fault that I happened to be a Male? Should my love be denied just because we both are Males?”

Mike had no answer to his query. He knew that James loved him beyond all possible limits . He had no objection to it.  But he clarified in the beginning that he did not feel the same way for James. He was not homophobic, but love is something that cannot be forced on anyone. He had a soft corner for James, who was his roommate too. He liked him as a good friend and as a person.  James was asking for acknowledgement of his love in return. It was not possible for Mike to make a false promise or to keep him in dark just to please him.

“I am sorry James”, Mike said politely and patted on his shoulder and then turned away on opposite side of the bed. It was not easy for him to see anyone crying, especially James, who was so close to him. It was in his nature to get emotionally attached and empathize with everyone who came in contact him. Probably this was the very reason, which made everyone feel  important and lively in his company. Probably this was the very reason, everyone wanted to be in his company as much as possible.

Mike closed his eyes in order to catch some sleep and James kept crying silently looking at Mike who was looking so emotionless today. Hurricanes of different thoughts were occupying their minds. When they fell asleep fighting these emotions and thoughts, even they could not know. James was deeply touched, and this call was registered in his sub-conscious mind too so he was blabbering and crying intermittently while asleep.

The urge to pee awoke the  James. He looked outside the window, which was clearly showing the dawn of next day. Mike was still asleep facing opposite to him. He was feeling very sleepy and was unable to keep his eyes open.  He closed his eyes, got off the bed, and headed the toilet-cum-bathroom attached to the room. He kept exploring the way to the loo intermittently with semi-open eyes.

He reached the loo, raised the seat cover of the toilet seat, lowered his underwear to get hold of his penis but his hands were empty. Surprised and shocked, he opened his eyes to see what’s wrong  and …

…. and it was a loud scream that filled in the room next.

Wait… !  He screamed, but it was not his voice that filled in the room.

(To be continued…)


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