Again, I was traveling by the Metro train.
I was feeling very tired after a hectic day, so I closed my eyes as soon as I got a seat available. Fortunately, today it was a little less crowd than the usual. I believe, it might be because of the first week of new year as many people would still be enjoying their extended holidays, or just because I was traveling late than the usual time.
After a couple of stations, I opened my eyes when the train halted at the platform with a strong jerk. A young guy boarded in my coach. He was wearing Denim Jeans and a black jacket. Healthy and fit personality, as you would usually find in Haryanavi or Punjabi People. The thing which instantly captured my attention to him was evident. Now I want to check how my readers react to it, and whether or not my thinking pattern is “normal”. So in today’s post, I am giving the photo of the guy captured from my mobile Camera.
Please have a look, and let me know if you think there was something worth attention in the picture. I understand that every individual has different thought process and priority, and you may or may not find something worth your interest / attention in this pic, but if you find a reason that makes you think “a little different”, please write down in the comments below what was it?
I shall be sharing my opinion and “the thing” that caught my attention later. First let me capture and understand the general opinion on it.
The Picture I am talking about is this :
[Added 09-Jan-2017: After Alex’s comment]
“How Gay am I?”, was the question which I was trying to figure out for myself through this post. You nailed it, Alex. I have strong reasons to feel that my perception of looking at things has changed recently dramatically. Now many such things have started catching my attention, which were non-existent even in my thoughts 6 months back when I moved in to this city. Is it the effect of new environment, or the company of my roommate that is changing me? I try to oppose this thought but cannot justify the reason for denial. It is really changing.
The “Heavy Butt” or the “Rainbow” strap did not exist for me 6 months back. As I also pointed out in reply to your comment that it is not his heavy butts that disturbed my thoughts. It is his property :). What disturbed my peaceful mind were the after-thoughts and my reaction on what I saw.
I was not even aware of special significance of Rainbow flag earlier. But now I am. Had I been the same man which I was 6 months earlier, what could have been my reaction to this scene? It was his Rainbow strap that caught my attention. And then next question roaming in my thoughts was – “Is he gay?”, “Why is he carrying such a bag with unusual strap attached to it?” The bag was just a normal bag, but strap attached to it was absolutely not. Then I started thinking could it be the case that he might be unaware of what he is carrying or showing-off? Well, there could be a possibility and it cannot be ruled out.
I am little concerned and worried about this changing attitude. When I am surrounded in crowd and someone starts staring at my bulge, even though momentarily, it now catches my attention very fast. Am I being over sensitive to such things? I guess, it is natural to feel awkward on such situations.
I did not like similar stares when someone “stared” at my private body parts or even my chest area or complimented me for my body, but I did not feel the way I have started feeling it now. I guess, the past regretful and unpleasant incidents happened with me, might have also contributed to it, which I could not overcome even after putting sincere attempts to forget it and come out of the traumatic memories.
I am concerned, and I am worried with this change.