Again, I was traveling by the Metro train.

I was feeling very tired after a hectic day, so I closed my eyes as soon as I got a seat available. Fortunately, today it was a little less crowd than the usual. I believe, it might be because of the first week of new year as many people would still be enjoying their extended holidays, or just because I was traveling late than the usual time.

After a couple of stations, I opened my eyes when the train halted at the platform with a strong jerk.  A young guy boarded in my coach. He was wearing Denim Jeans and a black jacket. Healthy and fit personality, as you would usually find in Haryanavi or Punjabi People. The thing which instantly captured my attention to him was evident. Now I want to check how my readers react to it, and whether or not my thinking pattern is “normal”. So in today’s post, I am giving the photo of the guy captured from my mobile Camera.

Please have a look, and let me know if you think there was something worth attention in the picture. I understand that every individual has different thought process and priority, and you may or may not find something worth your interest / attention in this pic, but if you find a reason that makes you think “a little different”, please write down in the comments below what was it?

I shall be sharing my opinion and “the thing” that caught my attention later. First let me capture and understand the general opinion on it.

The Picture I am talking about is this :

What is special in it?

[Added 09-Jan-2017: After Alex’s comment]

“How Gay am I?”, was the question which I was trying to figure out for myself through this post. You nailed it, Alex. I have strong reasons to feel that my perception of looking at things has changed recently dramatically. Now many such things have started catching my attention, which were non-existent even in my thoughts 6 months back when I moved in to this city. Is it the effect of new environment, or the company of my roommate that is changing me? I try to oppose this thought but cannot justify the reason for denial. It is really changing.

The “Heavy Butt” or the “Rainbow” strap did not exist for me 6 months back. As I also pointed out in reply to your comment that it is not his heavy butts that disturbed my thoughts. It is his property :). What disturbed my peaceful mind were the after-thoughts and my reaction on what I saw.

I was not even aware of special significance of Rainbow flag earlier. But now I am. Had I been the same man which I was 6 months earlier, what could have been my reaction to this scene? It was his Rainbow strap that caught my attention. And then next question roaming in my thoughts was – “Is he gay?”, “Why is he carrying such a bag with unusual strap attached to it?”  The bag was just a normal bag, but strap attached to it was absolutely not. Then I started thinking could it be the case that he might be unaware of what he is carrying or showing-off? Well, there could be a possibility and it cannot be ruled out.

I am little concerned and worried about this changing attitude. When I am surrounded in crowd and someone starts staring at my bulge, even though momentarily, it now catches my attention very fast. Am I being over sensitive to such things? I guess, it is natural to feel awkward on such situations.

I did not like similar stares when someone “stared” at my private body parts or even my chest area or complimented me for my body, but I did not feel the way I have started feeling it now. I guess, the past regretful and unpleasant incidents happened with me, might have also contributed to it, which I could not overcome even after putting sincere attempts to forget it and come out of the traumatic memories.

I am concerned, and I am worried with this change.


4 Comments Add yours

  1. Alex says:

    Firstly,I looked straight at his butt…how gay am I? 🙂

    Secondly,the strap of his bag stands out completely!! Most people would associate the Rainbow Strap as the symbol of gay pride (which is completely understandable, and correct)
    But we shouldn’t judge him based on this minor accessory, but on his personality which you do not know. Because he might just like the rainbow or the colour spectrum.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desimunda says:

      Hi Alex,
      You’ve beautifully touched the core of this topic. I will add it to the main post above.

      His heavy butts are not your fault (I mean getting attention to it). It may naturally draw anyone’s attention. Partly there is my contribution to highlight its heaviness as well. I was sitting and he was standing so I could not adjust the camera’s angle better than this.

      But this the after-thoughts that decide Gayness ! What kind of thoughts we get.

      Thanks for taking time to reply.


  2. Shawn says:

    As you start feeling more comfortable being interested in guys, you always see a hot guy and go “Damn, nice ass. Wonder if I could get a piece of it.” Totally normal, as is being more OK being noticed for your own bulge. Bask in your newfound sexuality and get comfortable. And wondering what his ass would look like naked is TOTALLY normal.


    1. desimunda says:

      Thanks Shawn ! But I am wondering why I am not feeling “good” about such feelings coming to me. Any clues?


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