Guess or Reality?

I have a question… actually .. I am curious to know.. please share your experiences here. I believe, most of us would have had faced similar situation in life.

Suppose, you are in a public place, or in a public transport, and you notice someone looking at you again and again. Whenever you make a direct eye contact, he or she turns away but you find him or her looking at you more than the others in the crowd. What is this?

Is it some sort of indication or a signal? Initially I used to get conscious about my looks assuming probably there is some evident flaw in my dressing sense or if my zip (trouser’s zip) was left unlocked or may be something was sticking on my face, but now I know, it is nothing like that. It is a typical behavior of some special breed of people (and not any apparent flaw in my looks or dressing sense) that behave in this rude way. Apparently, number of people belonging to this typical breed is growing exponentially in recent past.. or perhaps, I started paying attention to such looks now. I am still not clear… why I get such “abnormal” looks? These abnormal looks are becoming almost a normal routine for me now. Are they looking at me for want of a friendship? Or something else?

Second thing, is a little bit different from this, but still co-related and for which I eagerly want to find an answer. Although I would welcome answer and sharing of the experiences by anyone irrespective or geographical boundaries, still I would be more interested in experiences based upon Indian geography and people, as during my very short tenure in USA, I did not find similar behavioral rudeness in Americans. Every culture is a bit different from other.

Suppose, you are in public place or in a public transport, and you suddenly feel (without any explicit reason) that one of the person is (probably) sexually attracted to you. Even if she or he might just be admiring your looks but you have that feeling that tells you he or she is giving you undue and special attention. You start guessing his or her interests in you and slowly your puzzled mind may make you guess his sexual interests (sexual orientation). I understand it cannot be correct, or even close to reality, but is there a way to figure out if someone is gay or bi or whatever, by just inspecting his looks or style? How accurate can it be to guess one’s sexual preferences by just paying attention to his personality or looks or style of dressing etc.?  What are the things that differentiate a homosexual (including bisexual) person from an absolute straight? Again, I am talking about only the guys who are not effeminate. Is there a remote possibility that you guess that a person could be a gay and he actually be a Gay (or atleast interested in homosexauals)?

And, more importantly, why did I start paying attention to all such things which end up with :”Sex”? Am I getting distracted or is it my mindset that is being brainwashed due to my company or my new life style? Am I becoming abnormal (non-straight) ?

Your thoughts, your experiences, your suggestions are all warmly welcome.. so please spend some time to share your experiences, etc. with me through this post or using the “Contact” from from top menu.




7 Comments Add yours

  1. X says:

    Fuck yaar I didn’t expect it atleast from you.
    Being gay is normal.
    As you describe yourself in the story , Your are gradually falling for your roommate .It is quite simple that Love itself have powerful own terms .
    It never looks at gender ,some earthly made things(cast,…). It just happened between two hearts.

    you are falling for him because your heart wants him.But your Some human made things making you weak.
    and you are calling it as becoming abnormal.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desimunda says:

      Dear “X”, I loved your comment.
      No one had suggested me something so “rightfully”. as you did. It touched me.
      BTW… I never said or assumed being “Gay” is abnormal.

      Perhaps, you could not understand my point of view and picked up just the words. It’s actually my fault. I was ambiguous in my thoughts and could not express it clearly.

      By the word “Am I becoming abnormal (non-straight)”, I was pointing to the fact, that I am now noticing it that most of the times all my attention has started converging at “Sex/Penis” only. People I see around either on Metro, Bus, or on public places, someone starts staring at me, I may conclude something else, without actually knowing his or her intentions.

      This thing, I believe, is not normal. And mostly, on FB or any other platform, you will find only so called “non-straights” who are desperately looking for a sex partner or one night stands.


  2. X says:

    Now I’m here for a little help whoever is seeing this post Im requesting to all help me with whatever you think.
    .I go by train for my class .
    In that train I always look at a guy .he is quite handsome and cute.i think he is gay (maybe I’m wrong).I think im falling for him .I know it’s a bad thing to stare at someone’s face all the time but I can’t help myself.infront of him I become weak(fattu).it is almost 5months passed still I couldn’t talk with him.
    Everytime I out for my class I think today I’ll talk with him but can’t.

    plz help me somebody yaar

    Liked by 1 person

    1. desimunda says:

      Pardon me, “X”… are you a school going kid? I noticed it a little late (“I go by train for my class”).
      My eDiary (this blog) is not for kids. It is only meant for audience of age 18 years and above.


      1. X says:

        nope I’m not a school going kid.
        and I was talking about my spoken English 22.


  3. desimunda says:

    It would not be appropriate for me to advice you on this topic, but yes, based upon my experience and experiences shared by many of my valuable readers (some of them are published as comments on various posts in this eDiary) I would like to say a few things. Please use your discretion to filter what may be good to your case. You may also get in touch with Dr. Love (I call him by this nick name as he has saved my love life many times). Dr. Love (actual ID “Adore Abhijit”) could be found in comments of many of the earlier posts in my blog. I respect his understanding of human psychology, and value his advice, which is very practical and close to reality.

    In the mean time, while you get the “help” you are asking for, my inputs may serve as a starting point to analyze and act accordingly.

    1. You actually gave a practical example of my words in this post. This is exactly what I wanted to know and hence wrote this post. Thanks for bringing this example here. Even I could not find out this thing while I am getting more and more “attentions” (or now at least I started noticing it) by some of the people around me.

    We may “presume” based upon our thoughts and level of understanding, which may be far away from the reality. How to guess – if he is gay or at least that he is interested in you? What made you believe in your observation (or assumption) that he is Gay. Probably answer to this may help you find out a way. Since, it is an on-going routine activity for you (traveling in train together) and you still have a chance to response to the situations, you should first analyze if this is just one sided feeling or mutual? Has he ever given you any signs that made you think that he might be interested in you too?

    You need to be careful in coming to any conclusions about him. Don’t interpret your feelings as his personality, which is most common thing. It is one of the toughest things to remain un-biased.

    2. Think and find out “Why do you want him”? Are you just physically attracted to him? I am presuming it to be the case as the probability is that in the short time span of train-journey you two might have never interacted with each other (I am assuming it to be the case here) and hence it is highly probable that you are attracted to most evident feature – his looks, without actually knowing him.

    If this is the case, it is also equally important for him to have (physical) interests in you (or at least he should not be repelled by having sex with Guys).

    3. Whatever be the case, it is never a bad idea to start with a friendship first. It will give you both a chance to know each other in a better way and understand your respective needs and act accordingly. Go, talk to him, with casual hi-hello and see his response. If he is friendly, you may continue it to explore your friendship and dig deeper to find his preferences, his status (committed or already in a relationship, or whatever) and his likes and dislikes.

    I would be glad if you shed some light on some of the questions in point 1 above, as it also helps me find answers to my topics covered in my this post.

    Wishing you a happy love life ahead.


  4. X says:

    first of all obviously he looks attracted to me first.
    let me tell you his physical features are very attractive but I laugh at myself sometimes thinking that his eyes are big and bold .on the very first day I thought it(eyes) makes him less attractive but from the 2nd it is the most beautiful thing and make him More beautiful.(lol at myself).

    and really don’t know whether he is gay or not .
    but slightly girlish which I used to hate but he has the power to make hate to love.
    our journey is almost 45min .in this journey his physical behavior makes me think that he is gay.
    he don’t talk much with anybody on the train.always stay with his mobile.
    sometime he caught my eyes staring at him .
    I have been trying hard all these days but always failed.

    sometime I think he also try and then I think it is just my (khayali pulao).


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