बस ! एक तेरी दरकार है (I only need You!)

I would like to apologize to my dear readers, for delay in publishing posts. I am now doing it mostly on weekly basis, usually on weekends.

After my last post, Khulaa Darbaar, I had received a lot of queries from my online friends and visitors to my blog. These were mostly related to him, me and “us”. There were appreciations for him, positive words telling me how lucky I am to find such a loving, caring and handsome guy, and also some comments on how rude and unfair I have been to him and to myself.

There were so many common questions that I was planning to post them as a Q&A in a separate post. In fact, I had started compiling it but later, kept it on hold. Reason being, two factors. First, not sure if most of my readers would be able digest it in Q&A format and whether it will be something of interest to them to have basic day to day details of my routine life activities.  Second reason, is a bit personal one. I got busy in personal and emotional turmoil. I could not believe that we have been fighting like a married couple. Probably both wanting more “hold” over other one and being a bit more possessive about other one is a main reason for the insecurity feeling leading us to such clashes.

In one of such recent incidents, I realized later that, as usual, I happen to hurt his feelings. He being a very polite and understanding friend to me, usually does not put any pressure on me or make me feel guilty. But this time, he also lost his temper. It happens. Everyone has a capacity. So, (I tried) to soothe him down and wrote a few words for him … the feelings at that moment came right from bottom of my heart.. and were true and genuine. This is second time, I have attempted to write something like this. I am not sure if it was really worth it, but for me it was good because he recognized my feelings, accepted it, and rewarded me with his forgiveness.  He is really a person with a golden heart. Since it brought back some of happiness to “our” life, I am very fond of it and would love to share it here with my online friends who are associated with my love life and helped me from time to time.

Please forgive me, dear friends, because this poem is in a mix of Hindi/Urdu language. You may use google to find out meaning to some of the terms if you are not familiar to them.

उनका छूना … फिर यूँ  मुस्कराना …
मुस्करा के .. यूँ  नज़रें चुराना…
उनका, इस दिल में आ के, इसे अपना बनाना ..
अपना बना के फ़िर यूँ चुराना … ग़ज़ब !  इत्तेफाक़ है …
ओफ  !  इस दिल-ए-बेक़रार  को, किसी का इंतज़ार है …

मीठे मीठे दो पलों की ख़ुमारी,  अब  ला-इलाज़ है  |
मोहब्बतों की वादियों में …. ख्वाहिशों की बहार में  …
दर्द-ए-दिल की बेक़रारी… तेरी मोहताज़ है

ऐ मेरी मोहब्बत के फ़रिश्ते !
क्यों तेरी रहमतों का मुज़स्सम* इतना लाचार है ?
मेरे महबूब ! क़यामत होगी, रहम की दरकार है …
मैं हूँ तेरा.. तू  है मेरा … फिर क्यों नाराज़ है ?
बख्श दे आज़माईशों  से, सुन ले मेरी पुकार अब
मैं हूँ नादान, पर हूँ तेरा.. तू तो समझदार है
ऐ मेरी मोहब्बत के फ़रिश्ते !
हाल-ए-दिल तुझ से कहूं क्या ….बस ! तेरी दरकार है
बस ! एक तेरी दरकार है  |

मुज़स्सम* = incarnate


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