Gradually, as you come across this “love-break-up” cycle, you tend to loose your hopes for finding a true love. And, it is very practical approach too. Even husband and wife, the so-called “approved” couples in society also do not have anything called “True Love” as we define it. It is just a mutual understanding and agreement on the “Compromises”, and the “Terms and Conditions” of being together along with a little bit of care for each other. It’s more of a “Give and Take” relationship, in which two parties are “willing” to co-operate and sustain the relationship level (not talking about exceptions).
The difference is that the same level of loyalty is hardly visible in homosexual partners. Even if there is a little bit inclination towards a loyal and long term relationship, it is mostly bound with great burdens of “Compromises”, with very less “Options” available in hand, and probably “One sided”. The aging partner with a matured understanding of life and love, has very limited “things” to offer to his “ever demanding”, “Unstable” younger partner. More handsome, prettier the young lad, more are the chances of breaking up the relationship or loyalty.
I happened to meet such a person today who was in his late 3o’s or might be starting his early steps in his 40′s. It was painful to see that besides having almost everything for living, he was very “lonely”. He did not seek much of physical relationship at this stage in life but he even did not find someone to be called a life partner. He is not openly Gay, but I assumed him to be gay. His sexual orientation is not important here. The focus in on side-effects of not-so-popular life styles and being single.
This never ending “loneliness” is enough to kill anyone, when you don’t see a hope of anyone living with as you grow old. As a single man, in his 40′s, he is not warmly welcome in family gatherings, or among couples. He might be having all kids around him, but he is only “Uncle” and not really a family to anyone. He is welcomed in society and has earned respect in society, because of his wealth, financial and professional success but he feels as a complete failure because of miserable personal life. These are some of his inner feelings that he hinted me during our recent conversation. Don’t know how, but we have got a good bonding between us and he entrusted me with this great faith that he shared some of his most secretive feelings with me.
This puts a big question in my mind… is it a curse to be a gay (especially in India)? Is this a very reason, most of the people, although bi or gay, are inclined to get married?
Still not able to decide … but I feel sorry for him, and many others like him. I pray to God, to bless them with a loving and caring partner so that they don’t have to live a miserable and cursed life and regretful old age.